27 Dresses

by Angel Cohn May 2, 2008 4:19 pm
27 Dresses

I am always skeptical when a DVD is turned around so quickly after its theatrical release. To me it either says that they were super prepared and thought ahead about what extras they wanted to do while they were making the film, or (more likely) that they slapped some shit together in order to get it out on the shelves. The latter is clearly is the case with 27 Dresses, which was released in theaters on January 18th and has arrived on DVD just over three months later on April 29nd. Come to think of it releasing the film in the doldrums of January isn't much of a good sign either... so really shoddy DVD extras should come as no surprise.

To sum up the flick, basically Izzie Stevens has dyed her hair brown (to look plain -- yeah, that totally works) and is living in the shadow of her glamorous sister shadow. She's remotely less whiny out of the Grey's scrubs, but still just as irritatingly obsessed with living everyone else's lives for them. Here the control freak is a weddingaholic who is always a bridesmaid (natch, she has brown hair, who would want to date her) and lives in this outstanding New York apartment and has a crush on her super cool and environmentally friendly boss (Edward Burns, who really isn't aging all that well, though I never thought he was so hot to begin with). She's the kind of girl who sits down and reads the bridal announcements in the paper from cover to cover, which is like so convenient because at wedding, she meets Cyclops (James Marsden -- who is hot as all heck with his chiseled jaw line and he's so best thing about this movie) who writes about weddings for a newspaper. Everything goes to pot when Izzie's sultry sister comes to town and snatches up Mr. Brother's McMullen for herself. Sis and boss get engaged, sis turns into a bridezilla and steals Izzie's dream wedding plans. Then Cyclops discovers that Izzie is a wackadoo and has been in a bazillion weddings and writes a story on her and they get drunk and sing karaoke and well... if you've ever seen a romantic comedy, you know how this one ends.

Despite the complaints, the movie didn't suck that much. It was just kind of run-of-the-mill rom-com that you've seen a million times, but with different pretty faces. All pleasantly innocuous, with the exception of Mr. Marsden's lovely smile, which was worth the price of admission. I imagine that there are people out there who will buy this movie just to stare at him and watch him sweep Izzie off her feet over and over again and ignore the fact that there are even extras on this DVD, but I am not one of those people.

First off, there is no commentary. I was kind of looking forward to Katherine Heigl trying to explain her motivation, but alas, instead we're treated to "The Wedding Party," a featurette that is stuffed with cast interviews and all the boring details about why this movie is really the best thing since sliced bread. One producer blathers on for a while about the amount of character development they did, which, whatever... I just want to see what crazy obstacles are thrown at the pretty people before they hooked up. There is also a little clip of Judy Greer (she plays Izzie's BFF), which really only made me wonder why this sassy and smart-mouthed woman doesn't have her own movie where she lands the hot guy. Then I remembered Miss/Guided and how I had to delete the final two episodes that were in my DVR because she got really annoying. Small doses, but she's very good at what she does.

Next is "You'll Never Wear THAT Again" a segment about how the costume designer found the tackiest dresses ever. And indeed, they were hideously awful. But it reminded me of my pet peeve when I saw this movie in the theater. I'm not so good at math, but when Cyclops discovers Izzie's datebook (yes, it is an actual book and not a PDA) he sees that she's got like weddings constantly, several a month it seems, and sometimes two on the same night. Right? But yet over the course of her entire life she's only amassed 27 bridesmaid dresses? At first that seems like a huge amount, and you are like, wow, how many times does a girl get to be a bridesmaid, but even if she is in one wedding a month for several years, that would be more than 30, and since wedding-going seems to be her hobby, I think it should really be closer to like 87 dresses. There's one point where she says that she's been to three Gone With the Wind themed weddings, but yet, she only has one big hoop dress. So is she just attending all these weddings and not actually in to them? Am I putting too much thought into this? Don't answer that.

If you are interested in unrealistic set designs of New York, watch "Jane's World." This feature did nothing for me, except make start chanting "Jane's World" to the tune of the Wayne's World theme. Followed by the most bizarre feature, "The Running of the Brides." This like a "documentary" special on the annual Filene's Basement wedding dress sale that turns normal women into crazed velociraptor-like beasts who are on the hunt to get a wedding dress on the cheap. I guess that is loosely related, but they don't go to Filene's Basement in the movie... whatever. Oh, and don't get fooled by the feature labeled "Inside Look." It is completely unrelated to the film, and is just commercials about other upcoming flicks from the studio. Unless you want to see Cameron and Ashton talking about the horror show that is What Happens in Vegas. Yikes!

There are the requisite deleted scenes. One where nice girl Izzie gets her taxi stolen, one where she's forced to discuss the all important butt bow on her dress and then the most inane scene ever, which made me realize that there is a time for deleted scenes to be shared and a time when they should be deleted forever. Izzie's sister takes Ed Burns' pampered pooch to the humane society because she gets it confused to with a doggie daycare and the pup is nearly put to sleep. Utterly ridiculous. I'm so glad this scene wasn't in the movie. I might have gotten up and left the theater.

All in all, an unremarkable assortment of mediocre extras, a wedded miss, if you will. I guess if I wanted more I should have picked it up at Costco, where it came with a copy of the book 101 Uses for a Bridesmaid Dress. Then at least I'd have gotten some practical information out of the deal.




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