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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

by Mindy Monez December 16, 2008 1:41 pm
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor The Mummy 3 is a terrible movie, but I have gone ahead and watched all of its special features anyway, on the off chance that you enjoy terrible movies, or at least have a voyeuristic desire to see how they are made. Not that I'm judging you -- after all, it is a well known fact that I own Dungeon Siege on DVD.

Commentary with Director Rob Cohen:
No cast members to be found here, so if you're just dying to hear how the auteur behind XXX, The Fast and the Furious, and The Skulls ticks, you go right on ahead and knock yourself out.

Deleted and Extended Scenes:
The movie itself is basically just two hours of filler, so I was surprised to learn that there were actually things deemed too shitty to be included in the feature and were thus cut. My favorite of the six or so clips, for what it's worth: a severed arm (probably sacrificed to keep the PG-13 rating, a rare instance in which that's a good idea, because an R-rated Mummy movie from this franchise would be ridiculous and serve no one) being dragged away by some horses. Movies need more of that kind of thing.

Jet Li: Crafting the Emperor Mummy:
A top line look at how the CG guys made the animated mummy takes look like Jet Li. It's impressive, as these things tend to be. The movie may suck, but these guys most definitely do not.

Creating New and Supernatural Worlds:
Yeah, that's code for "set design." Many of them are quite pretty, and all of them are enormous! More is more with Rob Cohen, people.

The Casting Process:
This is how they picked the actors who were in the movie. Moving on.

Preparing for Battle with Brendan Fraser and Jet Li:
This is one of those featurettes where they show the actors learning their fight and stunt choreographies. Admittedly, I was impressed by how much of their own stunts each actor did. It was a very physical set, and each role was surprisingly demanding of all the actors (yes, even John Hannah, whose ass was set on fire, I am so not even kidding). There's also a lot of footage of people fighting neon green-suited CGI mummy stand-ins, which is always hilarious.

Legacy of the Terra Cotta:
Did you know that Rob Cohen considers himself to be a Chinese history buff? Of course you didn't! That's what I'm here for! This is basically a 15 minute video of Cohen and the film's producers insisting that they did an assload of research on Chinese armies, and I'm not saying they didn't or anything, but who gives a hell about historical accuracy in a Mummy movie? Just saying. That research time could have been better spent removing the cheese from the script instead. It's like a terra cotta fondue pot up in here.

From City to Desert:
Everything you ever wanted to know about location, location, location! They actually went to China to film much of the movie, a fact they're very proud of, and, I suppose, they ought to be. China is awfully far.

Making of:
Drink every time someone tries to say the word "epic" with a straight face -- I double dog dare you. Just don't send me the medical bills after.

Do I know how to sell a movie or what? Buy it now.

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