BLOGS
There are certain movies that we can tell are going to be bad just by watching the trailers, but sometimes circumstances (an insistent date, limited options, writing a review, etc.) dictate that we go see these movies anyway. When that happens, things can go one of two ways: either the movie is pleasantly surprising, or it is worse than you could have ever possibly imagined. The Box is unfortunately the latter.
This film is based on a book, which is based on fact ... or some facts. As the opening slate puts it, "More of this is true than you'd like to believe." However, this fictionalized version of those facts really feels like something that came entirely out of the minds of the Coen brothers, and not just because some famous faces from their work (George Clooney, Jeff Bridges) star in this film... though that certainly doesn't help matters at all. But that's not to say that bearing a strong resemblance to a Coens movie is a bad thing -- it's a perfectly fine thing to aspire to. And when it is done well here, it's really funny... but when it isn't, it's pretty dull and boring. Luckily, there's more of the former than the latter, and this ends up being a solid, if not stellar, film.
You know what's almost the same thing as The Fourth Kind only way, way better? The Blair Witch Project. And The Blair Witch Project is terrible. There are so many problems with The Fourth Kind, despite a grand total of two decent jumpy scares, I'm having difficulty organizing them all to present to you. But you need to know! Basically, to quote a wise tween I overheard walking out of my screening, "That shit? Was whack." That kid is a poet and a prophet, my friends. You don't even know. Let's get into it.
Going into Disney's A Christmas Carol, I was expecting a lot of wacky slapstick comedy, because when you put Disney and Jim Carrey together, that's what you get. But even though Jim Carrey provides many of the voices and a lot of the visual inspiration for the characters, there was hardly any wackiness to be seen. In fact, most of the movie is pretty dark. If you've seen Robert Zemeckis' previous animated feature, Beowulf, you can get a pretty good idea of what to expect here, although the character designs are a bit more exaggerated, and some of their movements a bit more cartoonish. Still, this was one of the creepiest versions of A Christmas Carol I've ever seen, creepier by far than my two reigning favorites, Scrooged and The Muppet Christmas Carol. And you know what? Creepy ain't always bad.
There are a lot of terrible movie titles out there, and everyone has their list, but most of these titles are attached to terrible films! It's when bad titles are attached to good movies that there starts to be a problem. For instance, this week, The Men Who Stare at Goats hits theaters, and we thought it was a lot of fun, but that title is a real snoozer. Who's going to go see this movie with that title? Yes, they stare at goats, but they stare at them to make their hearts stop beating! Why not call the movie Goat Killers? Or Heartstoppers? Or The Men Who Kill Goats With Their Minds? We looked at the last decade and found a bunch of film titles we think misrepresent or detract from the films they're attached to, for various reasons.
It's hard to forget Milla Jovovich. With her piercing eyes and model looks, she stands out in most of her films, and has actually played a slew of memorable roles, from her Return to the Blue Lagoon roots to the star-making The Fifth Element to the epically dull The Messenger to the flashy, nonsensical Resident Evil series. But in between, Jovovich does these bizarre smaller films that you've never heard of, many of which never even make it to theaters. Milla fans may know and love them, but the rest of America stumbles across them in their local Redbox and is like, "What the hell is this?" Here are five we watched for Milla, but remember little else about.
So the new movie The Box kicks off with the premise that a cash-strapped couple can get a million bucks... so long as they are willing to sacrifice a total stranger. Not a bad idea, but what if they asked some really important questions... you know, about TV and movies and things that really matter in the world. We put together a list of pop culture queries to test what you'd be willing to endure for a new Star Wars film, a Firefly reunion or all the answers to Lost. See our list here, then let us know what you would do.
Editor's Note: The Heath Ledger question in this feature originally referenced the actor's untimely passing in a manner that many readers interpreted as offensive, which is reflected in some of the comments below. In response, the question has since been changed to offend only Joel Schumacher.
What are your favorite TV stars doing when they're not making television magic? They're making movie mediocrity! The stars of Heroes, The Mentalist, Law & Order, Parenthood and Weeds are all on DVD this week, in movies of varying degrees of quality.
This Is It was an eye opener in many ways. Not only did it show us an extremely bare-bones version of what might have become the most spectacular concert series in the history of music, it also showed us a still-phenomenal Michael Jackson taking a hands-on approach to bring the music and performance up to the level he wanted. Granted, we would have liked to hear him sing a little bit more (most of his songs he barely oralized, in order to conserve his voice and perfect his moves), but we did hear and see a few things that shone a little light on the man and his methods.
Anthony Hopkins. Robert DeNiro. Kathy Bates. Vincent D'Onofrio. Billy Zane. What do these people have in common? They all freak us the hell out. Not on a day-to-day basis, of course, but each has had at least one truly memorable role in a horror film. These singularly terrifying performances have earned them all spots on our list of the Scariest Horror Movie Villains of All Time, alongside such luminaries as Freddy Krueger and Leatherface. Check out our list, then let us know who we've left off below!
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