While I'm thankful someone has picked a song I actually like to build a film around, the pop charts -- those from the 1970's in particular -- seem absolutely ripe for the picking. I hereby demand the following films:

"Billy Don't Be a Hero," a war-time drama told from the perspective of a soldier's fiancé that begins when she throws away the letter telling her how her fiancé died and progresses reverse-time, ending with a Main Street parade bursting with the pageantry of soldier blues and marching bands.

"The Tears of a Clown," a documentary in which Morgan Spurlock joins the circus.

"Boogie Oogie Oogie," a Dreamworks cartoon about a raccoon with an un-approving family who follows his dreams to dance all the way to Broadway, finally making the entire animal kingdom of Central Park proud.

"Philadelphia Freedom," a musical based on the best-selling David McCullough book "1776," where the creation of the United States of America is expressed exclusively in song and dance.

"Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves." The Cohen brothers take on the story of a Romani family in Southern Europe. It will start off brilliantly, the middle will be unexpectedly violent and the end will make absolutely no sense story-wise, but everyone will pretend that they got it.

"Sweet Home Alabama." Oh, wait.