Jackie Chan Takes On Pirates

by Tippi Blevins April 23, 2008 10:09 AM

No, that headline is not the plot of his next movie. It's what Hollywood studios have in store for those who illegally copy and sell movies: They've recruited fighting film legend Jackie Chan for a billboard in Beijing's Silk Market, taking an antipiracy message directly to where much of the movie copying industry takes place. According to Variety, Chan's billboard message is a simple one: "Protect the movies, say NO to piracy."

Yeah, good luck with that. Hollywood studios aren't having much luck stopping pirating in the U.S., but they'll have tons better luck in China. There are only a billion more people there.

You know what stops pirates? Is it the threat of stiff fines, the thought of spending your golden years in prison, or the fear of having to explain to your significant other why you have 5,000 copies of Owen Wilson movies in your apartment? No! What really puts the fear all that's holy into a pirate is a picture. And not a scary picture, either, but a pretty nice one of Jackie Chan looking only slightly less affable than usual. The hand gesture looks like he's saying, "You ought to be in pictures!" while framing your face for an imaginary screen. Or maybe he's advertising the latest tiny TV on the market. Or demonstrating geometric shapes to grade school kids. They could have at least made him wear his Forbidden Kingdom hair.

It's not a bad effort, but the billboard is slated for only a two-week display. The Silk Market is crazy busy, which means tons of people will potentially see it, but when was the last time you were swayed by a sign that you glimpsed briefly in a crowd? Imagine twenty million people traveling through a space in two weeks. Think about how crowded that is. How much attention would you be able to give a billboard as you're jostling through the market buying or selling faux leather "Channel" purses? Even if it's Jackie Chan promising to make you a movie star, would you give it more than a passing glance?

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