Summer Buttbusters

by Kasey McDonald April 17, 2008 11:32 AM

There's nothing new about summer blockbusters getting a little leeway when it comes to the basics of movie-making. Be it an extra burp of action in Act III or more than one MacGuffin, most movie-goers are so jazzed for the flick after the months of hype and marketing they don't even notice. But one trend that movie-goers can't miss seems to be on the rise--what I like to call the summer buttbuster, and more than one of the movies you're dying to see this summer fit the description.

Dark Horizons is reporting that both Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Dark Knight have run times of well over two hours. Indy looks to be coming in at around 140 minutes (that's two hours and twenty minutes for you non-math types) and the new Batman at a whopping 165, four trailers shy of three hours.

Now, I'm as excited for both of these films as the next gal--despite rumors that Indy 4 may not be worth the 19 year wait--but my ass can only take so much. You factor in the hour you'll have to wait in line for a good seat and the slow almost-as-bad-as-deplaning crawl out of the theater and most people are looking at nearly 5 hours of cinema pleasure. And while the studio sounds like it wouldn't mind cutting down Chris Nolan's The Dark Knight to around 150 minutes, reports are that it seems unlikely to do so. To which I say, grow a pair, Warner Brothers. Not only do people need to eat food other than suspect hotdogs and butter-drenched popcorn, but they need to be able to pee and not worry that they'll miss the one part of the movie worth the 12 bucks they spent on it. A bladder-bursting epidemic is not what 2008 needs.

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