Over the next few weeks, you may be lucky enough to spend time with a hardcore Indiana Jones fan, one who will tell you endlessly, over and over, that the new Indy movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, is terrible. Do not listen to them. It is an incredibly entertaining movie, with many exciting action sequences and plenty of footage of that dreamy Shia LaBoeuf combing his hair. But is it an Indiana Jones movie? Because despite the presence of Harrison Ford, the involvement of John Williams and the use of a prepositional phrase in the title, it sure as hell doesn't feel like one. Let's break the movie down into its component elements and see where the disconnect lies.

British filmmaker Peter Greenaway once said, "Works of art are never finished, just stopped." That statement may turn out to have been prophetic on his part, as his latest project is "at risk of being cancelled by Italian authorities," according to an article in The Guardian. What's got the Italians up in arms? Greenaway has plans to use Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper" next month as a backdrop for a light show, which the authorities worry could damage the 500-year-old masterpiece. Milan's mayor Letizia Moratti wants to cancel the show to protect the art, even though, according to the article, a scientific committee "has concluded [the painting] would not be damaged by the light show."

Many segments of the retail market are facing financial difficulties these days, and entertainment sales are no exception. After two flat years, 2007 saw the first real decline in DVD sales "since the disc format debuted in 1997." Maybe it's because of the advent of cheap, home-delivered rentals, or maybe people just finally filled up their wobbly DVD racks and ran out of room. Whatever the reason, an article in The New York Times says that Warner Brothers Entertainment recognizes the trouble it's in. But who can they turn to when they're up against a faceless, powerful enemy? Why, superheroes, of course!

Who'da thunk it -- an Indy movie at the top of the box office. By "Indy," of course, we mean Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, not a low-budget heartwarmer a la Juno. No, the long-awaited fourth entry in the beloved franchise easily took the top spot this Memorial Day weekend, giving it the tenth-best three-day total ($101 million), the eighth-best four-day total ($126 million), the fifth best five-day total ($151.1 million) and the second-best Memorial Day weekend take ever, after the third Pirates of the Caribbean film. Damn you, Jack Sparrow! Is there no defeating your swashbuckling, short of having Harrison Ford put on some eyeliner and go on some sort of South Seas adventure? (Hmmm...)

Edward Furlong is going to jail, but this time it's not for aiding and abetting lobsters. Instead, the actor will be starring in a brutal prison flick called Stoic, according to The Hollywood Reporter. What's so "improbable" about that? Our old pal Uwe Boll is behind the project, and he doesn't seem to be blaming anyone for anything in the process. But instead of finding a good script, he's leaving it up to the actors to improvise their dialogue. The MTV Movies Blog is reporting that the same will also be true for Janjaweed, Boll's movie about the Darfur massacre. "Everybody should be based on his own research of creating that character," says Boll. Plus, I imagine he doesn't have to waste any of his slim budget on a script this way.

Everyone seems shocked that Madonna is turning 50 this year. Fifty! And she looks so good! Well, duh. She's a bazillionaire. Recording and touring are gruelling affairs, but it's not like she's been carrying 50-pound sacks of rice on her back in the blazing hot sun all of her life. During an interview last night, Cynthia McFadden even compared her to geezer rockers Mick Jagger and David Bowie. (She meant it in a good way, but still. Cynthia.) But it seems the focus is -- for the moment -- turning away from the relentless march of time and toward Madonna's Malawi documentary, I Am Because We Are.

The thought of all that weed on the set of the authorized Bob Marley documentary has apparently been "Jamaican" Martin Scorsese a little crazy. (Rim shot!) Luckily for the film's sake, Jonathan Demme doesn't seem to mind a little ganja. According to Variety, Scorsese has dropped out due to scheduling reasons, with Demme, who's helmed more than his fair share of music-related films, taking over.

Uwe Boll is at it again, and this time he's blaming political correctness. The director, who's already on our collective shit list for being one of those people who won't take responsibility for their failures and constantly blames everyone else, has taken to blaming a culture that indulges in too much PC for the fact that almost no theater wants to show his new film Postal. The black comedy, starring Dave Foley and Verne Troyer, which makes references to September 11, President Bush and Osama bin Laden, will open this weekend on just 13 to 15 screens across the country. Though Boll had originally had the target of 1,500 screens on Friday, theater chains didn't cooperate.

Good news, bad news, casting news. Some actors will be working in the near future, and some won't.

- Helping out those who will is Shakespeare, with King Lear coming back to the big screen. For those of you who didn't have to read it in 10th grade, the tragedy tells the story of an aging British monarch who decides to abdicate the throne and divide his kingdom between his three daughters, based on how well they declare their love for him. Anthony Hopkins is set to play Lear, with Keira Knightley and Gwyneth Paltrow as two of his daughters. For those keeping score at home, that puts Paltrow's Characters with British Accents vs. Characters with American Accents at about 3 to 1.

Don't you hate it when one of your favorite movies ever, a movie that already has a couple of sequels from a few years ago (at varying degrees of Awesome) suddenly gets looked at by some studio exec and they say "That was fun! That made money! Let's do it again!" And you just know that they're totally going to ruin it? You can put down your whips, Indy fans, I'm talking about The Terminator.