Indy also made $147 million overseas, making it the fifth best worldwide opening of all time. You rock, Kuala Lumpur! Unfortunately, even with all of its accolades, this was still the worst Memorial Day weekend of the last five years, with ticket sales totaling only $215 million. Remember when $215 million could buy you something? Now that and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee and a fighter plane. So if Indy wasn't to blame, who was? Socio-economic downturn? Screw that noise -- it was probably its underperforming theatre-mates, the bastards.

Second place for the weekend went to The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, which dropped 58% to $28.6 million. Because who gives a crap, am I right? Iron Man is still going strong in third place, pulling in $25.7 million in its fourth week. Fourth week, people! That shit is for reals. I have my new Iron Man movie action figures on my desk, and it's like being in the movie, except I'm a fucking giant! In fourth place is What Happens in Vegas, because people apparently still like looking at Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in their underwear. Yeah, let's see how long that lasts. In fifth place, somehow, is Speed Racer, which made only $5.2 million. Apparently, there are still some rubberneckers who like looking at an accident on the side of the road. (To be fair, I haven't seen Speed Racer. I'm going to wait for it to come to DVD, so my eyes can bleed in the privacy of my own home, where I keep my gauze.)