The Rom Com Generator

by Kasey McDonald May 8, 2008 4:23 PM

Nancy Meyers is a machine. Or has at least invented one. Variety reports today that the writer/director of Something's Gotta Give and The Holiday has signed on to write and direct her next (at this point untitled) romantic comedy for Universal. When asked about the film, Variety reports that Meyers said "the movie concerns marriage and follows a relationship over a long term. There are big parts, she added, for a woman and two men."

Now, Nancy Meyers has more than a niche -- she's the queen bee of the romantic comedy genre. But the fact that her next project is untitled (which I'll admit is not unusual) added to the fact that her plot/casting reveal is about as generic as they come, makes me think that she has finally invented a working version of the coveted Movie Plot Generator: Romantic Comedy Edition.

A machine I would have killed for in film school, I picture it as a pink device, about the size of your standard laser-jet printer. Its innards complete with the newest Final Draft software and Meyer's own secret program, it would have shiny buttons that are all blinged out (think Paris Hilton's Sidekick) and its in-slot would be ruby red and shaped like a pair of lips. All you have to do is enter the plot beats you want to hit and after a few obligatory bleeps and bloops, out comes your script with suggested title. In this case, with the IBM punch-card-like beat cards still sitting on her desk, when she's ready to turn in her final draft (Var says August), Meyers will enter "Plot -- Relationship Stage: Marriage." "Plot -- Story Term: Several Years." "Story -- Characters: One Woman, Two Men." An hour later a messenger will be dropping it off to an assistant on the Universal lot.

I advise the woman to put a patent on that baby right now. A device of that nature getting into the wrong hands (say, a director who has only ever been credited as "Alan Smithee") could spell box office disaster.

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