Spoilers are everywhere, and not just for Indy. It's damn near impossible to go into a movie without knowing any of its secrets and surprises. Hollywood wants such a big opening week that they're now even giving away the dirty parts of their movies for free courtesy of red band trailers. For the most part, I'm not too concerned when I learn something about a movie from its trailer or someone's big mouth. But this is Indiana Jones, whose first adventure ranks as the best time I've ever had at a movie. I've been waiting 19 years for another adventure and I'd like to walk in as clueless as I did in 1981. Alas, nobody wants me to fulfill my wish.

After the Sunday press screenings and Cannes showing, everybody and their mother ran to the Internet to spoil the movie for people like me. One of my colleagues told me his friend was texting spoilers onto his blog DURING the movie! Critics and pundits fell all over each other to get their opinions on the Net, and when I avoided clicking on them, the spoiler people got more conniving. A client e-mailed me, complaining about programming code, and in his signature, it said "In Crystal Skull, Indiana Jones has..." I clinched my eyes tightly, hence the abrupt end to that sentence. Some college student called me with a survey on the Indiana Jones movies yesterday. I asked, "Is it just about the trilogy?" He said it was. First question: "What do you think about the fact that the Crystal Skull causes..." I slammed down the phone before I could hear the rest. And, I kid you not, I'm getting SPAM with spoilers. Instead of "enlarge Yur P Ness" I'm getting e-mail with the subject "N D Ann Uh Joanze C Krets."

If I can just hold off for 24 more hours, I'll be able to see for myself what other people have been dying to tell me. Of course, with my luck, my ticket will probably have the ending printed on it.

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