How Chris Nashawaty Ruined My Summer

In an article in this week's Entertainment Weekly Chris Nashawaty says loud and proud, "I hate superheroes" -- or, to be more specific, superhero movies. His opinion is that there are too many of them, that they're all the same and that they're ruining the summer blockbuster season, apparently by forcing non-superhero movies to go elsewhere, or not get made at all. If Chris wrote this article in an attempt to find his nemesis, like Samuel Jackson trying to find Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, well then, Chris, you've found me.

I feel for you, Chris, I really do, because you seem to have gone to see every terrible superhero movie ever made. I presume it's because of your job as a writer at EW and not out of some assumption of quality, but I'm a long-time comic book fan, and even I knew not to go see Catwoman or Ghost Rider or The Punisher in theatres. For crying out loud, the opening image of the your story is a big picture of smilin' Brandon Routh, a.k.a. Superman in Superman Returns, one of the most misguided and disappointing superhero movies ever made! No wonder you hate superheroes, Chris -- you've seen all of the bombs.

It's a sad fact that half of all superhero movies -- like half of all movies in general -- are not very good. But half of them are not bad, and many are even good or great. Yes, there are a lot of CGI effects going on in most of them, but how is that different from your precious Jurassic Park or Independence Day? Comic books have been around for almost a century, and (ignoring the debatably adequate practical effects of the early Superman and Batman films) it's only recently that technology has made them completely feasible and affordable as movies, so Hollywood has a lot of catching up to do. And I think critics and the box office have proven that a good superhero movie (like Iron Man) is a very good thing indeed. You may not have liked Spider-Man, but a lot of people did -- maybe if Peter Parker had been played by Terminator 2's Edward Furlong, you would have felt differently?

Now, I'll forgive you a little, Chris, because you never read comic books as a kid, and were clearly deprived, but all superhero movies are not the same, mainly because not all superheroes are the same. They have different origins, methods, enemies, conflicts -- that may not seem like enough to you, but it was enough for the people who wrote the comics in the first place, and it's enough for everybody who reads more than one comic book a month and lines up in front of a cinema to see X-Men: The Last Stand. So when you call up Stan Lee -- Stan "The Man" Lee, creator or co-creator of all of those characters -- and ask him why comic book movies are all the same, you're basically spitting in his face. (Yes, Chris, the X-Men films do have a totally different mood than Hulk or Iron Man. Have you seen any of these movies?)

You obviously understand not all these films are same, because not only have you read Watchmen, you're actually looking forward to the Watchmen movie, special effects and all. (Or is it the March 2009 release date that makes it exempt from your tirade?) But when you criticize the new Hulk movie, saying that nobody wanted to see Hulk the first time, that is patently untrue. Everybody wanted to see Hulk the first time -- I would even venture that more people wanted to see Hulk than will want to see Watchmen. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to see Ang Lee's interpretation of the Hulk, and that's what they got. Which is why the studios ditched the strictly art-house Lee for a legitimate action director this time around. Superhero movies should be action movies, so Louis Leterrier is a pretty logical choice. Watch Unleashed or The Transporter 2, Chris -- they're solid action films, and both came out around the summer of 2005, the same year Batman Begins, Elektra and Fantastic Four made your life so difficult.

And that's my biggest problem with your argument, Chris -- that you think superhero movies are somehow depriving you of legitimate entertainment. As an example, you rattled off every great movie that came out in the summer of 1983, pointing out that none of them were superhero movies. Aside from the high quality of films made in 1983, what's your point? There are four superhero movies coming out this summer (five if you count Hancock, which I don't), and yes, that's probably the most there've ever been, but it's not like they're the only things on the screen. This year you got a new Indiana Jones flick, Speed Racer, Prince Caspian, Sex and the City, Don't Mess With the Zohan, The Happening, Get Smart, The Love Guru, Mamma Mia, The X-Files sequel, Step-Brothers, He's Just Not that Into You, Tropic Thunder... even a new Mummy movie if you're into that sort of thing. They even took all of the superheroes out of Wanted for you. So how, exactly, are you being deprived?

My advice? "Just walk away," as the great Humungus said in the summer of 1981. Stay away from the movies that are clearly causing you grief. Don't buy that ticket to Hellboy II (the original made $100 million globally, by the way); instead, go see Eddie Murphy in Meet Dave. And if you ever talk to Stan Lee that way again, you'll be hearing from me.

To see a rundown of this summer's blockbusters -- both superhero and non-superhero -- click here!

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