Says Ratner: "10-year-old kids, 12-year-old kids don't really know the old Beverly Hills Cop. So it's an opportunity to make it new for kids. The same way it felt for me watching Beverly Hills Cop when I was a kid, that's what I want to do for kids today." As he helpfully points out, kids don't know the old Beverly Hills Cop, so wouldn't bringing back the old Axel Foley we know and love automatically be fresh and new to them? Idiot.

As the MTV Movie Blog points out, the past three Cop movies were all rated R, and Murphy's expletive-spewing mouth was half of what made the character Axel Foley Axel Foley. An Eddie Murphy mother-fudging his way through two hours of palm tree-lined action does not a Beverly Hills Cop make. You may as well put Murphy in a fat suit and set it in Bakersfield.

If Brett Ratner gets anywhere near Star Trek or a bottle of 2003 Silverado Solo, I swear to you, I am OUT.