According to James McAvoy, kissing Angelina Jolie was "not nice." Helen Mirren said that Harrison Ford finds it impossible to kiss on-screen and then added "He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me -- other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion." Yikes. Said Thandie Newton of Tom Cruise, "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it." And what of Leonardo DiCaprio? According to costar Virginie Ledoyen, "I can't even remember his kiss."

I suppose it may be a comfort to many of Hollywood's elite that if they got a harsh report of their smooching prowess, most of the other A-listers out there did too. About the only somewhat complimentary thing anyone said was when Orlando Bloom praised Keira Knightley's technique, but then qualified the statement by saying that it was at the same time "peculiar." For her part, Knightley preferred kissing Johnny Depp. And to that I say, damn right, sister.

For those of you out there who have a "List" with their significant other detailing five celebrities that make monogamy more of a choice than a lifestyle, you may want to cross-reference it with the newest issue of In Touch. Because if Victoria Beckham happens to be on your bus in Poughkeepsie, you'll be armed with the knowledge that Corey Haim claims she has "this little grr gnaw thing." And you, my friend, will have a decision to make.