Sophia Loren
Marion Cotillard
Nicole Kidman
Daniel Day-Lewis
Judi Dench
Fergie

If the woman who brought the world "My Humps" caught your eye, congratulations. You're not functionally retarded. And yet, that list is in fact an up-to-the-minute inventory of the cast of the impending Rob Marshall musical/celeb circle jerk Nine. People, what is this world coming to? When cinematic icons like Sophia Loren and Dame (yes, Dame) Judi Dench -- who between them have enough gold statuettes to melt down and turn into a to-scale facsimile of the Egyptian pyramids -- are condemned to share screen time with a woman who once pissed her pants on stage during a particularly rowdy rendition of "Let's Get Retarded," well, I just don't know what.

If Tom Cruise's publicist is looking for a quick fix for the bad media buzz he's gotten in recent years, someone has found the answer: Rumors are buzzing that Cruise has been asked to dust off his pilot's wings for a Top Gun sequel.

Richard Roeper announced Sunday that he will be leaving At the Movies With Ebert & Roeper after eight years, after failing to reach a contract with Disney-ABC for a ninth season. For Roeper, it hasn't been the same since co-host Roger Ebert became sick and was unable to be on the show for most of the past two seasons.

The Dark Knight surprised no one by performing impressively at the box office. We all knew it would win the weekend. It had everything working toward that end: a talented star who died too soon in his final full performance; film number two in a hot franchise; and the adulation of pretty much every critic out there. There was no way this movie was going to open at anything but number one at the box office.

Variety reports that MGM was, like, vegging out at the mall one day, and this one guy was like, "Oh my gawd, we should, like, so totally remake a bitchin' movie!" And this one other guy was all, like, "Duh, I was totally just thinking the same thing!" Then the first guy was all, "No way! Fer sure?" and the other guy goes, like, "Totally fer sure! Oh my gawd, wouldn't it be way rad if everyone was, like, singing and dancing in it?" and then they were both, like, "Awesome to the max!" And thus the musical remake of 1983's Valley Girl was born.

The Clinton News-Record is reporting that a former bodybuilder from Austria is set to play the T-800 in the upcoming Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. No, Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't reprising the role he originated almost 25 years ago. But filmmakers apparently did the next best thing short of actually sending a casting director back in time to the 1980s: They hired Roland Kickinger, who once portrayed a young Schwarzenegger in a TV biopic about the now-governor of California. Kickinger doesn't have a gem like Hercules In New York on his resumé, but he seems to have all the other assets in place.

After forty-three years of faithful service, Sarah Jessica's Mole is no more. Read all about it in the Telefile.

Actually, there are like 9 million reasons to trek to Comic-Con, but in this case we were making a pun. Because as they have at the last two SDCCs, Paramount will be releasing a new Star Trek movie teaser poster -- four of them, to be exact, featuring the new Kirk, Spock, Uhura and...Bruce Banner with facial tattoos?

It's finally here! The moment we've all been waiting for! Well, by we, of course, I mean hard-core comic geeks, die-hard Zack Snyder fans and die-core timepiece enthusiasts. The trailer for Watchmen, described by Warner Bros. as "the most celebrated graphic novel of all time," premiered in front of The Dark Knight this weekend, and it's already up on Apple Trailers. And it is quite possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Eight-year-olds prone to nightmares, beware: The Monster Squad -- the 1987 cult classic featuring Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolfman, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and the Mummy that just got a second life on DVD -- is set for a remake. Being that in 1987 I was eight years old and prone to nightmares, I never saw it, but the story follows a group of kids who hunt down Dracula and his team of other monsters who are trying to take over the world. Rob Cohen, the producer behind XXX and Stealth, is negotiating with Paramount over the rights. [Maybe this time, they can get Universal in the mix and use actual Universal Monsters like the Creature, rather than generic placeholders like "Gill-Man." - Zach]