Just two days after the rumors began to fly, The Guardian reports that "rights holder Warner Bros has moved to quash speculation and said no such movie is in the works." Maybe someone somewhere wised up and realized the last time they tried to squeeze every drop of life out of this show, they ended up with Joey.

Honestly, though, this is good news for both detractors and fans alike. If you hated the show, you don't have to endure months of the publicity machine cranking into gear, months of cast appearances including the obligatory full-cast visit with Oprah. You don't have to be dragged to the theater by friends so you can stare up Matthew Perry's nostrils for two hours. And if you're a fan, you have the happy memory of the series, unsullied by Hollywood's efforts to translate it to the big screen. What if studio execs had decided to jump on the 3-D bandwagon? What if all the characters got super powers because producers wanted to cash in on the superhero craze? What if the entire plot centered on Ross and Rachel's kid turning into an even younger, even shinier version of Hannah Montana? There are probably countless ways to screw things up. Better a Friend of the past than an enemy of the future.