You heard it here first: I'm gonna be a star! Or, well, I should be anyway. If there was any justice in the world, I ought to be starring in the forthcoming documentary The Achievers about that elusive and enigmatic creature known as the Big Lebowski super-fan. Alas, the damned thing has already shot and wrapped. In fact, it's being screened as we speak (type?) at the Lebowski Fest in Louisville, Kentucky, which I know thanks to Pop Candy's exhaustive, up-to-the-minute coverage of what you'd think was the Cultural Nexus of the Millennium. Because, let's face it, that's exactly what it is.

I am really hoping this film -- which boasts production credits from the dudes who brought us Riding Giants and Dogtown and Z Boys -- gets wide release and has festive, multi-city hoopla surrounding it because if it does I am so showing up to the premiere dressed as the Pomeranian Theodore Herzl. So don't even effing thing about it.