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QT Goes To War

by Odie Henderson July 9, 2008 1:50 pm
QT Goes To War Yet another Hollywood director goes to war. Quentin Tarantino's long awaited World War II screenplay, Inglorious Bastards, is finally being made into a picture that may feature Mr. Angelina Jolie. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Harvey and Bob Weinstein have ponied up the money and Tarantino will start lensing in October. With its Dirty Dozen-type plot, Inglorious Bastards should have plenty of opportunities for its soldiers to talk about inane subjects while the universe explodes around them. With QT at the helm, the film should also be extremely violent, preternaturally profane, and narratively fractured. I'm sure QT's screenplay will pose and answer the following questions:

What do they call army rations in Paris? Les Army Rations?

Is it OK to give your foxhole partner a foot massage? If it really doesn't mean anything, you should be able to rub those sore, war-torn tootsies with impunity, right? And why is a foxhole called a foxhole? He can ring 10 pages of dialogue out of that one for sure.

Can you successfully have an epic gun battle set to the strains of the Andrews Sisters' "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B?" If so, will the end credits play a remix of the tune sung by Christina Aguilera, Rihanna and Miley Cyrus?

If he gets cast in a role, what dead animal posing as a hairstyle will Samuel L. Jackson have on his head? A ferret dipped in Jheri curl activator? A polar bear covered in Sulfur 8? A porcupine with an ultra perm?

Since this shares characteristics with The Dirty Dozen (which, along with The Taking of Pelham One-Two-Three, had an influence on Reservoir Dogs), is the world ready for Sgt. Pink and Privates Brown and Blonde?

Will he even show a battle, or just the aftermath?

Can he get Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken to give a history lesson/dialogue on Italy's role in the war?

With all those gun battles, how many will end up in Mexican standoffs?

These, and many other questions will be answered when we get a peek at Inglorious Bastards. I for one can't wait.

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