Apparently, in addition to not having enough upstairs, she doesn't have enough downstairs, by which I mean her lady business. Playing a flower child in the film Hippie Hippie Shake, Miller apparently didn't have the pubes to play a convincing (i.e. naked) woman of the 1960s. Whether she tried to grow it out and couldn't, or refused to grow it out because The Balth prefers a hardwood floor, the article sadly doesn't say, but apparently, the filmmakers tried both pubic wigs and merkins, and neither would cut the mustard. (I'm not exactly sure of the difference between the two, except that "merkin" is a lot more fun to say -- it sounds like a magical wizard who specializes in the crotchal region.)

Since prosthetics were apparently useless, the film's producers went the significantly more expensive route -- computer-generated imagery! Yes, Sienna Miller's pubic hair was "digitally enhanced," giving her an "unruly, loud and proud bush." (I want to see the line item on that revised film budget, saying "$60,000 for pubic hair manipulation.") Well, it could have been worse -- they could have tried some experimental pubic-hair-growing procedure on her, and she could have damaged her vajayjay, just like she burned her breasts on the set of G.I. Joe. If me getting to see Sienna Miller naked is going to put her greatest assets in jeopardy, then I'm willing to make the sacrifice and suggest that the woman should start wearing an asbestos burka in all her movies, just to keep them safe. That oughta make the new Robin Hood movie more interesting...