Ms. Bassey boasts some history of her own, as the only singer to have performed more than one Bond theme. The brilliant, brassy and bombastic Brit first blew the speakers out of theater walls singing about Goldfinger (or GOLLLLLLD-FEEEEEEN-GAAAAAAA! as she called him). Then, to honor Sean Connery's return to the Bond franchise, Bassey sang Diamonds Are Forever (actually, she claimed they were "FORRRRRR-EVVVVV-AAAAAA!!!"). And when Bond went to outer space in Moonraker, Bassey's voice sent him there: "MOOOONNNN-RAYYYYYY-KAAAAAAAAA!" With the advent of advanced theater sound systems, the Bond franchise had to steer clear of titles ending in -er, because, according to the pattern, Shirley would have to sing their theme songs. The combination of THX and her voice would cause severe structural damage. This is why the new film is called Quantum of Solace and not Casino Royaler.

Speaking of Brit singers, a few months ago, Amy Winehouse agreed to pen the latest James Bond theme. This was before she said "yes, yes, yes" to rehab. I like to think that the daunting task of finding something that rhymed with "Quantum of Solace" drove her over the edge and made her seek help. I can see her sitting in a flat somewhere writing about her troubles:

"I tried to rhyme Quantum of Solace
But no words go, go, go!
My brain I wracked,
No phrases came back
I know, know, know!"