Indiana Jones: 66. Rambo: 62. John McClane: 53. Ash Williams: 50. When it comes to aging action figures, Ash is still in comparatively good shape, which is why actor Bruce Campbell is ready to strap the boomstick back on for Evil Dead 4. Despite the fact that it's been 16 years since the last Dead movie, Army of Darkness, came out, Campbell thinks that Ash still has the war against the deadites well in hand --- er, chainsaw.

Some people look to movie stars for tips about the latest starvation diet secrets or how to properly maintain one's hair extensions. Some may look to directors for insight about how to handle long work hours, or how to manage the egos of our bosses and coworkers. But they have other advice to offer, advice we can put to use in our own lives in very practical ways. Or at least we can mock it a little. First up is advice from writer/director/"actor" M. Night Shyamalan. According to MTV, the worst advice actor Mark Wahlberg ever got was from Shyamalan. Are you shocked? Neither am I.

Although in many parts of the country it's still sweatier than a sumo wrestler in a sauna, the U.S. summer box office will be wrapping up the season as we head into Labor Day weekend. How did things go over the last few months? Better than expected, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Going into this weekend, "Nielsen EDI data showed domestic tallies of $3.96 billion that are sure to rise to beyond $4 billion by the Monday holiday." The box office was surprisingly strong "thanks to unsurprisingly robust sequels and a shockingly lucrative performance by the latest installment in a 19-year-old superhero franchise." The latter refers, of course, to The Dark Knight, although I have to wonder why its success is considered so shocking. Was anyone expecting, say, Meet Dave to siphon off some of the Bat's profits?

J.J. Abrams and his cohorts from Bad Robot Productions were in New York this week to ostensibly promote their new Fox series Fringe, but we couldn't resist trying to squeeze a few dilithium crystals of scoop from them about their Star Trek film when we met them at the premiere party for the show.

TWoP: What was it like to be on the set when William Shatner showed up for his top-secret surprise cameo?

It looks like Hilary Swank is setting herself up for another box-office disappointment. The Oscar winner has acquired the rights to produce and possibly star in an adaptation of Emily Griffin's 2005 novel "Something Borrowed." The book tells the story of a Manhattan attorney who gets involved with her best friend's fiancé after her 30th birthday. The problem here is that the character Swank will likely play, that of Rachel the Manhattan lawyer, is a good-looking girl. When Swank just puts on a dress for a movie, it generally doesn't do very well. (See: P.S. I Love You, Freedom Writers.)

Not one day after our own Odie Henderson demanded that the movie-going world stop laughing at on-screen penises, Kevin Smith has promised full-frontal male nudity in his newest comedy, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. In an interview with MTV, Smith admitted that Jason Mewes would let it all hang out in what he called "a comedically drawn caricature of not just sex, but porno sex." Not 24 hours have passed, and he's already setting the movement back. Sorry, Odie.

Attention all Spider-Man fans: Start raiding your 401K and get thee to eBay. Sony Pictures, along with charity Stand Up to Cancer is auctioning off a trip to the Spider-Man 4 set on the auction website, even though the film has not yet had any talent attached, nor, I believe, is it yet written (though IMDb has James Vanderbilt credited with the screenplay). Regardless, Sony plans to release something in 2011, and if you're willing to drop enough scratch, you could be there to watch the movie magic happen.

The Venice Film festival (that's the Venice in Italy, if you didn't know) is the world's oldest film festival, and it got underway yesterday for the 65th time. Emceed by Russian actress Ksenia Rappoport, known in Italy for her turn in the film The Unknown, the opening day of the fest featured an afternoon screening of Vittorio De Sica's 1948 classic The Bicycle Thief. But no one really gives a damn about any of that crap, because George Clooney and Brad Pitt were there, omigod!

I'm not a girl who can afford a lot of designer things, but the one thing I indulge myself is a bit of Chanel perfume. And no, I don't smell like your rich aunt -- I'm not a No. 5 girl -- I'm of the younger-smelling Coco Mademoiselle generation. Turns out I'm not the only one forking over the cash for a piece of the young Coco Chanel. In what is probably not a Dante's Peak answer to Lifetime's upcoming Chanel miniseries' Volcano, Warner Brothers has singed on to produce and distribute Coco Before Chanel, a French-language biopic that will focus on the designer's early years.

Growing up in the 1980s, it was hard to avoid L.B. Rayne. The soulful crooner was ubiquitous, popping up every summer to write a catchy pop song about the latest movie blockbuster. But his biggest hit was arguably "Indiana Jones," his impeccably rhymed tribute to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, which came out... Okay, I'm just yanking your chain. The video is really the brainchild of Doogtoons founder Doug Bresler, who came up with the idea for a failed R&B singer with his brother Joe (who plays Rayne in the video) more than ten years ago. But the song is the perfect '80s pastiche, with cheesy rhymes and classic riffs in the vein of "Eye of the Tiger," and the visual elements -- Rayne jogging through the woods; a karate-kicking, violin-playing "Short Round" stand-in -- are wondrous to behold. Bresler promises more L.B. Rayne videos in the future, but for now, check out "Indiana Jones" after the jump.

As much as I love Monty Python, I rarely enjoy Terry Gilliam's movies. Since Python disbanded, Gilliam seems to have waged a one-man crusade to invent new cinematic ways to get on my last nerve. Time Bandits is the sole exception, even if its last line, "Don't touch that, it's EVIL!" is what women yell at their friends whenever I try to talk to them. Since 1981, when the film was released, there's been talk of a sequel. First it was a film, then a series of TV movies, then, apparently, a comic book. Now it's nothing. With the demise of Virgin Comics, it looks like the Time Bandits sequel is officially dead. I'm disappointed. It was the one time I was looking forward to seeing if Gilliam would find a new way to my nerves.

When I heard about Facebook: The Movie, two thoughts came to mind: 1) Crap! Hollywood is now making remakes of websites?!! and 2) Crap! It's going to be one of those interactive movies like Mr. Payback. I'm going to go see Facebook: The Movie, and at the theater Hasbro will sue me, weirdos will try to befriend me, my identity will be stolen and the seat is going to try to SuperPoke me. Then I learned here that Facebook: The Movie is about the creation of the site, not the site itself. There's a Facebook group devoted to Aaron Sorkin's upcoming movie. I joined it, making it the third group I belong to on the site I joined solely because I was in grad school. Since they didn't ask my help in casting, I won't bother with FBTM. But here are some suggestions for other filmmakers thinking about making a movie about a website.

One way that people rob something they fear of its power is by making fun of it. It's the basic tenet of propaganda and political campaigns, and I've always thought it also applied to the MPAA's treatment of nudity in the movies of late. For example, if a man shows his butt, the MPAA rates it PG-13; hell, Rob Schneider has made a career out of showing the place he pulls his movie ideas out of. But show a woman's ass and BAM!! Rated R! My explanation is that you can mine comedic potential from a guy's ass. I mean, it's where farts come from, and farts are funny!

The rumors about the amount of Steven Spielberg's input on the upcoming Tintin movie have been greatly under-exaggerated. The original plan was to have Spielberg helm the first in the series, with Peter Jackson succeeding him for any sequels. Recently, Herge Studios (Tintin's owners) released word Peter Jackson would be the director of the first film, not Spielberg. Now we have word that Spielberg is still slated to direct the kickoff Tintin movie, which is scheduled to begin lensing this October, and Jackson will produce. It's a lot of confusion over a movie about the German Shepherd who saved Warner Bros. from bankruptcy. Oh wait, that's Rin-Tin-Tin. My bad.

Stop me if you've heard this before: Tom Cruise's troubled WWII movie Valkyrie is having problems. The film, which is in the can and tentatively scheduled for release on December 26th, is now the subject of a lawsuit brought on by twelve German extras. E! Online reports the actors were appearing in a "less than action packed sequence in Berlin" that turned into an injury packed tour de force: the actors fell out of an improperly loaded truck. I guess the force they toured was gravity. I know studios are cheap, but this is one case in which United Artists doesn't want to buy something that fell off a truck. It might cost them $11 million.

As Zach mentioned yesterday in the Moviefile, there are rumors swirling about Cher playing Catwoman in Christopher Nolan's next Batman sequel. Or, rather, there were rumors. Over the weekend, the Telegraph was reporting that a "studio executive" said that Nolan wanted Cher to play the feline beauty as a "'vamp in her twilight years.'" Turns out it must have been Joe Magination, Senior Executive in Charge of Hooey, because a post at the Geeks of Doom has quashed that rumor. A response from Warner Bros. says simply: "Those casting rumors are untrue."

A title says a lot about a movie. It's often the first thing a potential viewer learns about a project. Long before the actors are cast or a director is even attached, just hearing a title can make us salivate in anticipation or gurgle in dread. I, for example, will rarely ever see a movie with the word "movie" in the title. (I'm looking at you, Disaster Movie. Or, rather, I'm not looking at you.) Two titles are causing something of a stir for Warner Bros. today.

Babylon A.D. is terrible. That's not my opinion -- it's the opinion of one Mathieu Kassovitz. If the name doesn't immediately ring a bell, he's the director responsible for Crimson Rivers and Gothika. [He also acted in Amelie! - Zach] Oh, and he also directed the terrible movie in question. It's not often you hear a director badmouthing his own movie, but Kassovitz has more venom to spew than the Reptile House at the San Diego Zoo. He tells the AMCtv.com blog that he's "'very unhappy with the film.'" He goes on to talk about a script that wasn't respected by producers and partners. "'It was a terrible experience.'"

Across the country, fanboys are soiling their trousers waiting for Watchmen to come out on March 6, 2009. The trailer looks awesome, with a new behind-the-scenes video coming out every month showing more of the production, and the fact that Fox is threatening to torpedo it isn't making waiting any easier, either. Meanwhile, a completely different set of fanboys are also waiting with bated breath for the newly relaunched Star Trek movie to come out on May 8, 2009. And they've been waiting for a while -- Paramount has been teasing the film for years, and it got bumped from its December 25 release date to May long before the Harry Potter 6 bump got wizards' knickers in a twist. So while we're all sitting here waiting, where the hell is Kevin Smith? In screening rooms, watching our movies for free, apparently.

Warner Bros. apparently just got the news that superheroes have the potential to make money. Despite the fact that Marvel Comics characters Spider-Man, Iron Man, the Fantastic Four and the Hulk have been doing gangbusters in theaters over the past few years, it took The Dark Knight grossing over $800 million worldwide to convince Warner that maybe they should be doing more. So they're finally going to move ahead with a new Superman film in the wake of 2006's disastrous Superman Returns, only this time, they're going to emulate TDK and -- you guessed it -- go dark. Because as we all know, what's good for the goose who watched his parents get murdered is good for the gander who was rocketed to Earth as a baby.

In a week of low-wattage premieres, the thrown-into-the-spotlight Tropic Thunder has topped the box office once again. Between Ben Stiller going "full retard," Robert Downey Jr. going "full blackface" and Tom Cruise going "full fat, Jewish guy," the buzz and controversy translated into another $16.1 million this weekend, racking up a total of $65.6 million since its debut on August 13th. Which left new films The House Bunny and Transporter Thr-- er, Death Race in second and third place with $15.1 million and $12.3 million, respectively (if not respectfully).

Dear X-Files,

What happened? You used to show up every week in my living room, and then, after a long, fading relationship, you disappeared. Then you showed up again -- this time on the big screen -- only to disappear in a matter of days. Were you in hiding, like a certain lanky former FBI agent whose name rhymes with "Box Culder"? Were you trying to slip away before anyone noticed you were back? If so, mission accomplished!

If there's one thing I hate more than dolls, it's talking dolls. I'm not afraid of them; I just loathe them. For two days in a row, there was news in the Moviefile about talking dolls. And I'm counting those garden gnomes, because, well... shudder. So, clearly the universe hates me. And just to kick me when I'm down, now comes news from Hollywood Elsewhere that the Powers That Be are trying to screw around with X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The problem? The director and the producer are now arguing over the "look" of the movie. Hasn't most of it already been filmed? They showed footage at Comic-Con, for crying out loud, and now they're arguing about how they want it to look? I guess I should just be glad they haven't changed the lead character into a talking Wolverine doll.

Here at MwoP.com, we love three things, and three things only: the HBO original series Flight of the Conchords, the movie Eagle vs. Shark and the Outback Steakhouse. Understandably, Kiwi komedian Jemaine Clement is one of our favorite people on the Earth. So when we heard that he was going to be in a new movie by Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre director Jared Hess, we pretty much peed ourselves, even though our expectations were set way too high for Nacho Libre and we were understandably disappointed. (I mean, come on. Jack Black playing a luchadore? I went into it expecting it to be the Godfather of lucha libre movies... not realizing it already existed and was called Champions of Justice.)

Hollywood has always loved Shakespeare. I mean, hard not to, right? But they do Shakespeare a lot. If it's not a direct adaptation of a play for the screen, it's one of those "retellings." Now, I won't say that the upcoming project Gnomeo and Juliet is the weirdest of the Shakespeare-inspired films out there, because there have been some really bizarre ones, but it's up there. Produced by Elton John, the animated film will tell the story of two gnomes from rival gardens who fall in love, sing Elton John classics, and try to help you save money on your next vacation. One of those things isn't true. I'll let you pick which it is.

Rent is coming to theaters. No, you're not having an acid flashback to 2005. The stage show, set to end its run on Broadway on September 7th, will have its final performance filmed and digitally shown in more than 500 theaters September 24- 28. The performance will feature the current Broadway cast and a couple of special appearances by original cast members. (I'm hoping for more age-appropriate roles for those original cast members, who valiantly came back and tried to portray characters a decade younger than they were in the 2005 Revolution Studios theatrical version.) You can check out the trailer for the special event.

Far be it from me to say that George Lucas used up all his good ideas back in the '70s and '80s, but... George Lucas used up all his good ideas back in the '70s and '80s. Exhibit A: ...Well, pretty much anything he's done since the late '80s. But what I want to focus on here is Exhibit B: He recently suggested to Samuel L. Jackson, the most notorious part whore in all of Hollywood that perhaps he should start thinking about directing. Not to suggest that Jackson might not be a talented director -- we'll never know until he actually does it -- but why do I think this might be something Lucas suggests to every actor out there, ever? I mean, not everyone is cut out to direct, George. (See also: Wars, Star - Episodes I, II, III).