The release of Tom Cruise's upcoming Valkyrie just got moved. Again. For the third time. The film, which tells the story of a German officer (Cruise) and his failed attempt to assassinate Hitler, has had myriad problems getting to the screen. It has been through everything from rows with the German government to reshoots to rumors about its quality (or lack thereof). Directed by Bryan Singer, the movie was originally slated to be released in June of 2008, got pushed back to October, and then had to film additional scenes in the month it was originally supposed to have been released. It got pushed back again to February of 2009.

Comic book fight! And I don't mean of the POW! CRACK! variety. I mean that Marvel Comics' own Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr., totally slammed the locker door in the face of Dark Knight helmer Christopher Nolan, and pretty much everyone else on that film and at DC Comics. I'm totally ducking out of Biology to stand in the hallway and watch, because the gauntlet has been thrown, y'all. Apparently, RDJ didn't get The Dark Knight. In an interview with Moviehole for his role in Tropic Thunder, the big screen's Tony Stark railed against the critically acclaimed Dark Knight, saying he didn't get what was so brilliant about the film and eventually working up enough of a lather to drop the F-bomb on the entire DC Comics empire.

Having sat at (and eventually under) this very desk just over two weeks ago when the 5.4 Chino Hills earthquake trembled its way through my fair city, my first reaction upon hearing that J.J. Abrams would be making an earthquake disaster movie was: "Ugh, no thanks." Seeing the lights above you sway violently while you're enveloped in an unnatural rumble that's loud and quiet at the same time kind of kills any desire whatsoever to experience it in THX or Dolby. Then again, the memory of the quake is still pretty raw; my stomach still flips whenever a big truck rumbles past our building. Maybe months down the road when the film is in theaters and my nerves have settled, I'll want to flock into a crowded L.A. theater with two puny exits (that it takes ten minutes to get through even when you're not panic stricken) to find out what the creative minds of our time believe will happen when the Big One actually hits. Ugh. Maybe not.

The Internet has brought us many, many things, including unlimited second-hand information, free pornography and numerous forums in which to express our socially unacceptable opinions without fear of reprisal. But one of the greatest things it's given us is the fake movie trailer. Sometimes used for harm (like the ones that claim to be legitimate trailers for in-production films), they can also be used for good, such as showing the world (and Hollywood producers) what your favorite cartoon or comic book might look like as a movie. Well, here are three of the coolest recent fake trailers I've found, and I wanted to share them with you.

Paris Hilton has finally found something that's not "hawt." No, it's not her career, it's National Lampoon's Pledge This. The folks who put their name on four Vacations, two Van Wilders and an Animal House are suing the latest Presidential candidate for not promoting the film as per her contract. Hilton stars and also produced the movie, made in 2006, and her $1 million payday included going on the road to promote the film. E! Online says she's being sued for $75,000 for "failing to provide 'reasonable promotion and publicity' for the film." Considering it was released straight-to-DVD, I question how Ms. Hilton could have successfully promoted it. What was she going to do? Go to people's houses?

Despite having one in my body and plenty in my closet, I'm terrified of skeletons. There was one in my grammar school, and I had to sit next to it during science class. I still have nightmares about it chasing me down those long school hallways, throwing metatarsals at me while singing "Dem Bones." (I went to public school; that skeleton was probably a former student.) So when Ray Harryhausen crafted that brilliant skeleton battle in Jason and the Argonauts, I watched it with a mixture of awe and unwarranted terror. Now, Dreamworks wants me to experience something even more horrifying: They're remaking Jason and the Argonauts and setting it in the present day. Oh goody! Skeletons shopping for guns at Wal-Mart!

If this were a movie, we could call it Ballistic: Zach vs. Odie. Last week, I successfully challenged Zach about Pineapple Express not unseating The Dark Knight at the top of the box office chart, but he refuses to pay off our bet based on some fuzzy math he borrowed from a Hollywood studio. [The movie opened on a Wednesday! Obviously, the film would require opening-night revenue to pull off the victory. - Z] Today, the movie I predict will unseat the Batman opens, and if I am right, I should get my dollar bet with interest. Our female contributors here at Movies Without Pity are probably shaking their heads at the typical exploits of male one-upmanship, but at least we're not doing mixed martial arts fighting in the lobby. Score one for us guys for restraint!