Eli Roth? Bastard.

Eli Roth is shaping up to be a triple threat -- literally. Not only does the horror auteur maim and murder in the scripts he writes (Cabin Fever, Hostel, Hostel 2) and the movies he directs (uh, same three), now it looks like he's going to play a maimer and a murderer on screen himself. Fellow triple threat Quentin Tarantino, a longtime supporter of Roth and his often-imitated brand of torture porn, has cast him in his upcoming war movie, Inglorious Bastards. Roth would play a Bastard. ...You know, I think that'll get old by the time they cast the entire squad, but for now, it's damn fun to say. Eli Roth, the Bastard. Yes, I'm eight.

In Tarantino's script, which is not connected at all to the original Inglorious Bastards film or story, the Bastards are an all-Jewish U.S. Army unit inserted into France during World War II whose only mission is to kill any and all Nazis they see. According to Variety, Tarantino has approached Roth to play Donnie Donowitz, the Boston-raised, baseball bat-carrying member of the group who acts as the squad's own "final solution," as far as their no-Nazi-left-alive policy goes. As an actor, Roth last appeared in the director's Death Proof, and before that he made cameos in his own films, as well as Toxic Avenger IV and, believe it or not, Barbra Streisand's The Mirror Has Two Faces. Is that where all of that anger comes from?

Tarantino is still trying to pin down Brad Pitt for the role of Lt. Aldo Raines, the leader of the Bastards who collects the scalps from every Nazi they kill, and he has said he wants to get a German actor to play their nemesis, SS Col. Hans Landa. (Sounds like a good idea, considering he originally wanted Leonardo DiCaprio.) But he says he hopes to finalize the cast soon -- and he'd better, because Roth needs to get back behind the camera to film the big-screen adaptation of Stephen King's Cell, in which a cell-phone signal turns most of the world into zombies. No casting announced for that one yet, but I think I can guess who'll have a cameo.

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