By now most of you know that I'm a giant scaredy-cat who would never go see this movie in a million years, much less have seen the original, so I asked my generally more-game boyfriend for a quick take on the '77 classic. He said, and I quote: "Suspiria is a BAT SHIT CRAZY film." The yelly all-caps are all him. According to the Dark Horizons article, the film follows "a young American dancer who travels to Europe to join a famous ballet school. Upon settling in she hears strange noises and is troubled by bizarre occurrences and several hideous deaths. She eventually discovers that the school is merely a front for a much more sinister organization." Hey, I read about that school!

Horror is a departure for Portman, who's only real scary turn was that of Princess Amidala in the frighteningly bad Star Wars prequels, as it is for Gordon Green, whose recent work has been of the drinking, Smoking (with a capital 'S') buddy comedy variety. If the rumors prove true, it'll be interesting to see what they do in the new world of scary. At least, my boyfriend will probably find it interesting. We all know I won't be going with him.