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by Tippi Blevins August 12, 2008 12:55 PM

Some movie theaters in England are getting rid of popcorn, according to The Guardian. Are rising corn prices to blame? Hardly. If anything, it's the relative affordability of those little golden kernels that has helped make them personae non grata at more upscale cinematic establishments. Although most will merely offer some popcorn-free screenings, one cinema-owner in London has vowed to "'de-popcorn every new venue" he acquires, citing its "overwhelming smell, the cultural idea of it and the operational problems created by the mess it produces." In the end, he says it's just not sophisticated enough. Oh, come on. Slap a little olive oil and smoked sea salt on it and serve it up in a pretty vellum bag. The posh crowd will snap it right up.

But some theater owners seem opposed to popcorn in any form. The smell of it is mentioned by three separate interviewees as one of the bigger negatives. So what are they serving to hungry (but discerning) patrons instead? The Rex in Berkhamsted offers up "cheese platters and dishes of olives, chocolates and fruit" brought to tables by waiters. Right. Because cheese isn't stinky at all. I swear to you, I once ate an incongruously delicious piece of Camembert whose odor nearly peeled the paint off the dining room walls. It smelled like a lactose-intolerant elephant had died in there.

Could theaters in the U.S. follow suit someday? Will hot dogs be replaced with buckwheat blini and caviar? Will Milk Duds shove over for gourmet chocolates? Maybe common sodas will banned for the unsophisticated belches they produce. You get a much higher class of burp when it's caused by a flute of champagne.

TAGS: movie theaters, popcorn

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