The Gilliam-Dollar Baby

by Zach Oat August 19, 2008 11:16 AM
The Gilliam-Dollar Baby

Why can't Terry Gilliam catch a break? As a former member of Monty Python, Gilliam should receive whatever he wants for life, a system Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin and John Cleese have worked out with the British government, I believe. And yet the group's lone American still has to struggle and stretch to make his projects reality. Okay, so Gilliam makes strange movies. 12 Monkeys? Strange. Brazil? Stranger. And he has some bad luck, like when his movie about Don Quixote imploded (as documented in the film Lost in La Mancha), and when Heath Ledger, the star of his latest film, died in the middle of shooting. But he still managed to finish it, so why doesn't anybody want to distribute the thing?! Don't they know how important this man's work is? He was in Monty Python!

Apparently, Heath Ledger or no Heath Ledger, studios are unwilling to spend money on a quirky Terry Gilliam film, according to The Hollywood Reporter. I can't really blame them, since Heath Ledger co-starred in Gilliam's The Brothers Grimm with Bourne superstar Matt Damon, and the movie didn't even make back its budget. But Gilliam's new movie, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus makes The Brothers Grimm sound like Police Academy... Police Academy 4, even!

Okay, so Heath Ledger's still in it, but you know who else is in it? Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law, and they're giving all the money they make to Ledger's daughter. Women will be lined up outside the theater, naked, waiting to see this film for those three stars and their sexy, sexy charity alone. And you know who else is in it? Tom frickin' Waits! That's right, the musician and star of such films as Mystery Men and Coffee and Cigarettes plays the Devil. The Devil! Tom Waits is the Devil! Hundreds of Tom Waits fans -- and nearsighted Ron Perlman fans -- will swoop down on theaters to see him do devilish things and sing quirky jazz songs! Fly, distributors, fly! Distribute this film! Forget that Verne Troyer is in it! That doesn't mean anything! Sometimes, a movie just needs a little person! Fly! Distribute! Google-search Christopher Plummer, and you'll see that he's a very respected actor, and totally worth your money! Fly! Fly! Fly!

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