Aronofsky Readies 'Rasslin', Robocop and Religion

What do you do for an encore after your film, The Wrestler, was the buzz of this year's Toronto Film Festival? What's your next move after you've directed Mickey Rourke to a potential Oscar nomination in said film, revitalizing his career in the process? If you're Darren Aronofsky, you don't go to Disney World. Instead, you tackle a flick about Old Detroit's knight in shining armor, then write a script about the Original Love Boat, Noah's Ark. To hell with readin', 'ritin' and 'rithmetic; the new R's are rasslin', Robocop and religion.

According to an interview conducted at /Film, Aronofsky's take on Paul Verhoeven's uber-violent 1988 futuristic tale hits screens in 2010. "It's absolutely unrelated to the original," he says. "I have full 100 percent respect for that, but I kind of don't even want to go near that territory, except for the 'Bitches, leave!' line." If Aronofsky has any sense, he'll cast the original speaker of that line, Kurtwood Smith. That's right, young 'uns! The dad on That 70's Show played Clarence Boddiker, one of the nastiest villains to ever sneer in close-up. Rumors abound that the new Robo will be in 3-D and PG-13, but neither of those concern me as much as Hollywood's continuing trend of remaking movies that were good in the first place. If Aronofsky wanted to satisfy both his Verhoeven and remake joneses, he should have considered Showgirls. It's a remake (of All About Eve -- no, seriously, it is) and it's terrible enough to warrant a reboot. I'd be first in line to see Requiem for a Ho, wouldn't you?

Speaking of the wickedness of man, Aronofsky is also embracing his inner Cecil B. DeMille-slash-Mel Gibson by tackling the Biblical tale of the guy begat in Genesis 5:30. (Sinners, stop running for your Bibles! I'm talkin' 'bout Noah.) "It's the end of the world, and it's the second most famous ship after the Titanic," claims the director. The second most famous ship?! Darren better watch out for that 20-cubits-long streak of lightning headed straight for his ass. I'll get on the ticket line if Aronofsky dramatizes the Irish Rovers song about the one animal too stupid to get on the Ark. Unfortunately, that animal wasn't Man.

Loading...

Add a comment

TWoP Toolbar

BLOG ARCHIVES

The Moviefile

January 2012

2 Entries

December 2011

27 Entries

November 2011

22 Entries

October 2011

22 Entries

September 2011

29 Entries

August 2011

27 Entries

July 2011

30 Entries

June 2011

25 Entries

May 2011

13 Entries

April 2011

23 Entries

March 2011

22 Entries

February 2011

33 Entries

January 2011

39 Entries

December 2010

21 Entries

November 2010

29 Entries

October 2010

23 Entries

September 2010

25 Entries

August 2010

26 Entries

July 2010

29 Entries

June 2010

36 Entries

May 2010

22 Entries

April 2010

26 Entries

March 2010

30 Entries

February 2010

19 Entries

January 2010

19 Entries

December 2009

15 Entries

November 2009

21 Entries

October 2009

27 Entries

September 2009

30 Entries

August 2009

28 Entries

July 2009

34 Entries

June 2009

27 Entries

May 2009

24 Entries

April 2009

23 Entries

March 2009

18 Entries

February 2009

30 Entries

January 2009

56 Entries

December 2008

51 Entries

November 2008

61 Entries

October 2008

102 Entries

September 2008

86 Entries

August 2008

99 Entries

July 2008

116 Entries

June 2008

95 Entries

May 2008

86 Entries

April 2008

67 Entries

March 2008

14 Entries