Margo Where the Mail Go

The United States Postal Service has put a lot of people on stamps, from Ella Fitzgerald to Elvis (skinny Elvis for letters, fat Elvis for packages), but they've outdone themselves this time. To the delight of All About Eve fans everywhere, the Post Office has put Margo Channing on a stamp. A first class character for first class mail! I've always fancied myself a sarcastic viper on par with Eve's Addison DeWitt (George Sanders), and since Eve is my all-time favorite movie, the gov'ment's going to get a little more money out of me than they usually do for postage. I'm going to buy a roll of these bad boys. Now I can use the star of The Letter to mail a letter! How meta, I say, but putting Bette Davis on a stamp is as wonderful as it is dangerous. I bet when you lick the stamp, Bette punches you in the mouth.

This is Davis' first stamp but hardly her first non-cinematic honor. Madonna refers to her in "Vogue," and prior to that, Kim Carnes mentioned her in one of the worst songs ever written, "Bette Davis Eyes." A sequel, "Joan Crawford Shoulders," was considered but never recorded, as were "Jane Russell Jugs," "Robert Mitchum Lids," and "Marlon Brando Gut." Okay, I made that up, but I wonder if Ms. Crawford were ever put on a stamp. If so, you probably won't want to put her next to the Margo Channing stamp unless you want your mail to explode.

The AP notes that Davis' epitaph read "She did it the hard way." (The Hard Way was an Ida Lupino movie, but I digress.) It further states that her son, Michael Merrill, said "she would have been tremendously thrilled" with the honor. Margo herself would say "I detest cheap sentiment," but I imagine Miss Bette Davis saying, "After all those years of never letting life lick me, now I have the honor of being licked by the entire effing country. Go figure."

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