Steven Seagal is... Hard to Interview!

At Tuesday's soon-to-be-infamous Best Buy event, the stars aligned and the skies opened up and I was magically able to get five minutes with the incredibly polite Steven Seagal, martial arts master and king of the postmortem one-liner. (David Caruso learned everything he knew from this guy.) The Under Siege star was taciturn about some things -- like how he's fallen out with producers of some of his recent movies over changes -- but more forthcoming about his burgeoning comedy career. But enough of me and my poor interviewing skills -- let's get the facts straight from the man himself.

Kill Switch comes out on October 7. Even though it won't have a theatrical release, do you still celebrate when one of your movies comes out on DVD?
Many of the movies that had certain people attached -- I don't know the titles -- I've never seen the movie and will never see the movie, just because I resent what they did to screw the movie up so much. But those people are no longer around from Ruslan on, so maybe from Ruslan on I think I can maybe have a little more celebratory attitude.

In Ruslan, you play a Russian crime novelist -- did you work with a coach to pin down the accent, or learn any Russian?
No, I grew up in a Russian family, with my grandparents speaking Russian all the time, so I just tried to go with that.

Before your role in The Onion Movie came about, I don't think a lot of people realized you had that kind of sense of humor about yourself. Ever think about doing a comedy?
I may not think of my self as a thespian, or someone who's really adept at acting -- I've studied acting, and I've tried to do the best job I can do, with all of its vascillations -- but comedy is just another form in the great pantheon of all the different types of acting we actors are supposed to do. Conversely, I do have a sense of humor, and I do enjoy trying to be funny. I guess time will tell whether or not I really am funny, if I get offered enough comedic roles. But I certainly have no aversion to that, and would love to try some more.

What's your next movie after Ruslan?
It's called The Keeper. It's just about a potential hostage situation, where I play the bodyguard to a young girl.

Do you often get a chance to meet your fans in person, at conventions and the like?
I interact with fans every day!

Any scary stories regarding that?
I usually don't have any problems face-to-face with anybody, they're all usually pretty nice.

In Jean Claude Van-Damme's new movie, JCVD, his character sinks into a depression because you keep stealing all of the good roles. Ever gone up against him for a part in a movie?
No.

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