What do Daniel Craig and Matt Damon have in common? No, not Sarah Silverman's toxic nana! Both Bond and Bourne are ushering a new wave of old-fashioned celebrity stunt work. Gary Powell, stunt coordinator on Quantum, explains that Craig got more involved than the other Bonds: "Daniel puts the work in, even if it's something he's not keen on. He's not a lover of heights, but in Quantum Of Solace we've got him jumping out of a three-story building onto the top of a moving bus. You've actually got to jump before the bus is under you." As a result of all his derring-do, CGI stood for "Craig Gets Injured." He got a black eye, cuts, bruises, and a chewed up finger. Let's hope it's worth it.

Craig's predecessor, Roger Moore, says that the new Bond scares him. "I was a lover, Daniel Craig is a killer," says Sir Roger. His interviewee asks him all sorts of weird questions, and even professes TMI about how Daniel Craig makes him feel inside.

Meanwhile, this article makes even less sense. It's perfectly fine to be snarky about Bond, but is this guy possessed by Pat Robertson? "We ought to have learned by now that combining sex with ironic fun is dodgy," the article reads. "Anyone who fails to see a connection between Playboy bunny girls and pedophilia is culpably blind," the author continues. (Guess I'm culpably half-blind.) If that weren't bad enough, he accuses Bond of causing all manner of sexual problems in British men. "I seriously believe that Bond is a big factor in the sexual malfunction of our times; the difficulty we have finding life-long partners, and the normalization of pornography." Talk about overreacting! Daniel Craig, you've turned Britain into a land of perverts. I hope you're happy!