When in Rome, do as the Romans do, and when in Britain, see movies with British stars. I went to see the enjoyable and diverting Ghost Town, which opened here last week after its disastrous showing in the U.S. Ricky Gervais' leading man comedy started at 17:45. I got there at 17:50, I mean, 5:50 PM. There were less empty seats for this feature than I'd expected. I sat down just in time to see a cell phone commercial. Then a commercial about a TV program, one for the movie chain, another cell phone commercial, a clothing commercial, and a preview for a Jessica Biel movie called Easy Virtue. It looked like trashy fun.

A few more previews followed, then the Odeon Theaters screen, telling me where I was. This was followed by a commercial about Odeon Direct, a Netflix-like product made by the folks who created the Odeon Theater. "Holy Hell! That is so meta!" I mumbled. "SHHHH!" said the stern-looking woman behind me. "No TAW-king!"

After my reprimand, I found myself staring down yet another commercial. "Jesus Christ!" I said. "SHHHH!" said the lady again. I slumped in my seat and stared at my watch. It said 6:20 PM. No wonder there was so much time between screenings! 35 minutes, and counting, of commercials!

The BBFC certificate for Ghost Town appeared on the screen. It was quite sleek-looking, and unlike the MPAA, those who issued the certificate owned up to it. Their names were signed on the left side of the screen, opposite the bright red "12A" rating on the right. The certificate disappeared as nonchalantly as it arrived. "Finally, the movie!" I said, low enough to avoid another shushing.

...Then the certificate came back. "12A!!!" it yelled, for the rating itself was now covering the entire screen. "I saw it the first time!" I muttered under my breath. "SHHH!" said the lady. The certificate disappeared a second time. I expected a commercial, but lo and behold, the movie came on! And wouldn't you know it, the woman who shushed me talked through the entire damn movie? That's what I get for going to a theater whose name sounds like mine.