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According to that cartoon, All Dogs Go To Heaven. A much hotter fate may befall Beverly Hills Chihuahua, the latest in a series of talking animal movies begat by original white rapper Rex Harrison's Doctor Dolittle. EW thinks the movie will survive the critical drubbing it will receive to become the surprise hit of the fall. I think EW is, to quote Big Daddy Kane, on dope or dog food. Voiced by Drew Barrymore, the BHC gets lost in Mexico and has adventures with a bunch of other dogs voiced by Latino actors like Paul Rodriguez and George Lopez. All of whom try to mount the rich bitch at some point -- oh wait, this is a Disney picture. I meant to say "all of whom just fart and say curses."
When I saw the trailer for BHC, I banged my head into the seat in front of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for cute kiddie movies about dogs. I'm looking forward to that hideous-looking Hotel for Dogs movie that Don Cheadle is starring in come January. But BHC looks like Legally Barked or Chewless. And just when I thought they couldn't come up with anything dumber, Hollywood sends me Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. It's the sequel to Cats and Dogs, a movie that starred a pre-Spider Man Tobey Maguire as the voice of a secret agent dog (and you thought that Spidey 3 dance was the dumbest thing he did?) and Sean Hayes as a pre-Will and Grace cat named Mr. Tinkles. Mr. Tinkles? Kitty Galore? These sound like characters in a Jackie Collins novel, not cats. Let's hope neither film makes any money, so we can return animals to their native languages of barks, squeaks, grunts, squawks and meows.
Want more? Check out our list of the 10 Stupidest Talking Animal Movies Ever!
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