The 1984 original, written by Diane Thomas and directed by then-unknown director Robert Zemekis, starred Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito, and had the fantastic tagline: "She's a girl from the big city. He's a reckless soldier of fortune. For a fabulous treasure, they share an adventure no one could imagine... or survive." But they do survive and they fall in love and they sail off into the sunset, almost literally, down a New York City street on a trailered sailboat whose mast probably won't get past the next stop light, but you don't care, because it was campy and ridiculous and awesome. And now they're going to remake it. I bet the new one won't even use a single synthesizer in the score. The only real good news here is that the project doesn't have any producers attached, so though they've hired Eagle Eye writer Daniel McDermott to pen the script, the actual film is probably a ways off into the future.

I think the only option we fans have at this point will be to just pretend the remake never happened, like we did with Romancing's sequel, Jewel of the Nile. All the other studios had better keep their mitts off of my other childhood favorites, and they can stay the hell out of my closet while they're at it.