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Top Ten Other Possible Titles For the Planet of the Apes Prequel

by Tippi Blevins December 2, 2008 1:40 PM

There's a Planet of the Apes prequel currently in development at Fox. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Possibly like in an advanced civilization of simians, there'll be a mix of both. The project is tentatively titled Caesar -- not for the pizza, or the Roman emperor, or the salad. Caesar, as you may or may not recall, is the intelligent ape who goes, well, apeshit after pal Ricardo Montalban is killed in 1972's Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Writer/director Scott Frank wants to make a movie based on character and science, not talking chimps and "antic ape action." Problem is, the title isn't very evocative of any kind of ape action. They need something that gets people primed for primates. Here are a few suggestions:

10. Planet of the Prosimians: Because prosimians are the most primitive primates, and this is a prequel. Plus, there could be lemurs in it. Everyone loves lemurs.

9. Caesar, Caesar, He's Your Chimp: When the other apes finally do speak, it can be their rebellious cheer.

8. From Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z: A touching tribute to the life and times of Troy McClure.

7. This Isn't a Remake of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes: In the article linked above, Scott Frank is very eager to disabuse people of the notion that this isn't a remake, so why not just state it in the title?

6. Monkey Madness: In this prequel, it's people continuing to get monkeys and apes mixed up that finally pushes Caesar over the edge.

5. Harry Potter & The Planet of the Apes: Caesar is smart, but is he smart enough for Hogwarts?

4. Ch-ch-ch-Chimpy!: After plagues kill off the world's cats and dogs, scientists attempt to create a new kind of Chia Pet to replace them. Things go horribly wrong.

3. It's Hard Out Here For a Chimp: With soundtrack by Three 6 Mafia.

2. Bonobo-a-Go-Go: Bonobo is just more fun to say than "Caesar".

1. The Six Million Dollar Chimp: They can rebuild him. He'll be better, stronger, faster. Unfortunately, scientists realize too late that smarter--slightly smarter--chimps already exist. They're called humans.

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Top Ten Other Possible Titles For the Planet of the Apes Prequel

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