BLOGS
Obviously, no one's dying to see Underworld: Rise of Lycans. I'm not saying that anyone is. I'm just saying that if maybe you've seen everything that's out already and come next Friday night you're thinking, "Hey, I don't mind spending 12 bucks to see some vampires and werewolves fight," the way I see it there are a lot of reasons to be dissuaded. Nine, to be exact.
1) The Danny McBride who wrote it isn't the Foot Fist Way guy; he's the stunt coordinator for something called The Feminine Touch guy who made the Foot Fist Way guy put an "R." in the middle of his name on IMDB.
2) Len Wiseman wants nothing to do with it, and neither did any other self-respecting director/regular director/film student/Youtube account holder, apparently, because the special effects guy from Battlefield Earth ended up having to direct it.
3) The way the guy in the trailer says "We can be SLAVES!!! Or we can be - LYCANS!!!!!!!!!" sounds exactly like "This. Is. SPARTA!!!" only more ridiculous.
4) If I wanted vampires-and-werewolves-as-thinly-veiled-social-commentary-on-bigotry-and-forbidden-love I'd watch True Blood because at least that thing has nudity and a lighting scheme with more colors than "blue" and "dark blue". Also, don't try to teach me not to be racist with your slave characters being portrayed by monstrous dogs, because that's pretty racist, actually.
5) Nobody likes prequels. Just ask George Lucas.
6) Bill Nighy can't fly in real life, and this is just a sad, 90-minute reminder of that painful fact.
7) Rhona Mitra deserves better than this, so stop enabling her terrible film choices. That being said, Doomsday was awesome. I'd actually support a third installment of Doomsday.
8) The way it's made exclusively for 12-year-old boys, and if you go see it in theaters the ticket counter guy is totally going to look at you like a pedophile, as will all the 12-year-old boys surrounding you.
9) But most importantly, it's no different than the two films that preceded it, except this one has a cheaper cast and the guy who did the special effects for Battlefield Earth at the helm. Also it looks like Queen of the Damned but blue. And worse.
2) Len Wiseman wants nothing to do with it, and neither did any other self-respecting director/regular director/film student/Youtube account holder, apparently, because the special effects guy from Battlefield Earth ended up having to direct it.
3) The way the guy in the trailer says "We can be SLAVES!!! Or we can be - LYCANS!!!!!!!!!" sounds exactly like "This. Is. SPARTA!!!" only more ridiculous.
4) If I wanted vampires-and-werewolves-as-thinly-veiled-social-commentary-on-bigotry-and-forbidden-love I'd watch True Blood because at least that thing has nudity and a lighting scheme with more colors than "blue" and "dark blue". Also, don't try to teach me not to be racist with your slave characters being portrayed by monstrous dogs, because that's pretty racist, actually.
5) Nobody likes prequels. Just ask George Lucas.
6) Bill Nighy can't fly in real life, and this is just a sad, 90-minute reminder of that painful fact.
7) Rhona Mitra deserves better than this, so stop enabling her terrible film choices. That being said, Doomsday was awesome. I'd actually support a third installment of Doomsday.
8) The way it's made exclusively for 12-year-old boys, and if you go see it in theaters the ticket counter guy is totally going to look at you like a pedophile, as will all the 12-year-old boys surrounding you.
9) But most importantly, it's no different than the two films that preceded it, except this one has a cheaper cast and the guy who did the special effects for Battlefield Earth at the helm. Also it looks like Queen of the Damned but blue. And worse.
Sponsored Links
40 Comments
Loading...
Add a comment
MOST RECENT POSTS
Today's TWoP News: Friday, January 6, 2011
The Most Heinous Person on Reality TV This Week
Indie Snapshot: The Iron Lady, Pariah and A Separation
TWoP 10: Reality Franchises That Should Be Benched
Friday, January 6, 2012: Supernatural
Portlandia is 2 Broke Girls for the Discerning Viewer's Soul
Today's TWoP News: Thursday, January 5, 2012
Modern Family: The Best Lines From the Winter Premiere
BLOG ARCHIVES
The Moviefile
January 2012
2 Entries
December 2011
27 Entries
November 2011
22 Entries
October 2011
22 Entries
September 2011
29 Entries
August 2011
27 Entries
July 2011
30 Entries
June 2011
25 Entries
May 2011
13 Entries
April 2011
23 Entries
March 2011
22 Entries
February 2011
33 Entries
January 2011
39 Entries
December 2010
21 Entries
November 2010
29 Entries
October 2010
23 Entries
September 2010
25 Entries
August 2010
26 Entries
July 2010
29 Entries
June 2010
36 Entries
May 2010
22 Entries
April 2010
26 Entries
March 2010
30 Entries
February 2010
19 Entries
January 2010
19 Entries
December 2009
15 Entries
November 2009
21 Entries
October 2009
27 Entries
September 2009
30 Entries
August 2009
28 Entries
July 2009
34 Entries
June 2009
27 Entries
May 2009
24 Entries
April 2009
23 Entries
March 2009
18 Entries
February 2009
30 Entries
January 2009
56 Entries
December 2008
51 Entries
November 2008
61 Entries
October 2008
102 Entries
September 2008
86 Entries
August 2008
99 Entries
July 2008
116 Entries
June 2008
95 Entries
May 2008
86 Entries
April 2008
67 Entries
March 2008
14 Entries
I haven't seen the first 2, so I won't see this. But the screaming dude is Michael Sheen, right? From Frost/Nixon? (ie Kate Beckinsale's baby daddy)
What are Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy doing in this POS? IMDB tells me they were in the first ones, but that still doesn't answer the question.
Rhona Mitra won't GET better than this until people know who the heck she is. That won't happen until a lot of people have seen her movies.
Have to go see this with my best friend for her bday. Well, it can't be worse than Mummy 3, or Spiderman 3.....can it?
Hey, Michael Sheen gets to be sexy in this role. I'm all for THAT. He was sexy in the first movie too. (That's what he and Bill Nighy are doing in this "POS." They've been in the other ones.)
Michael Sheen deserves to be known better than both Rhona Mitra AND Kate Beckinsale.
Thank you for posting this. You just saved me from having to spend a day with a Very Grumpy Hubby who really hates it when movies he's looking forward to suck.
Every time I see the trailer, I hear that lines as "We can be slaves, or we can be lichen!"
Now THAT would be a movie I'd pay to see.
well as always there are exceptions to the rule with prequels: the last 2 Batman movies for example.
I tend to agree with the point that Michael Sheen deserves to be better known. He is a pretty classy actor. Besides "Frost/Nixon", he was also in "The Queen", doing an excellent job of Tony Blair. However, I think it's good that he is willing to make genre films.
Ha! That's how I always hear it, too. I'd rather watch a movie about lichen.
The talent of Michael Sheen pretty much wipes away all of the reasons above.
I actually liked the first two movies and see no reason why I wouldn't like this one. So, really, if you like this genre, why not?
I actually liked the first two movies and see no reason why I wouldn't like this one. So, really, if you like this genre, why not?
---
3 words
No Kate Beckinsale.
I actually liked the first two movies and see no reason why I wouldn't like this one. So, really, if you like this genre, why not?
---
3 words
No Kate Beckinsale.
I really liked "Doomsday" when it first came and was called "Road Warrior."
Also, could "Doomsday" have shown Rhona Mitra's implants any more clearly had it microscopically covered her body looking for surgical scars?
The lack of Kate Beckinsale will keep me away, no matter how much I enjoy Bill Nighy. And I thought the backstory was sufficiently told in flashback from the first two movies. It would be like LOST creating a whole new show just based on the flashbacks (I might watch that).
Reason #10: If you watched the BSG webisodes on SciFi.com, you've already seen the movie.
Wait, that was just the trailer? Gee, it feels like I've seen the whole movie, since I had to watch that trailer 10 TIMES to see the webisodes.
Who the hell is Rhona Mitra? And why is she not Kate Beckinsale?
Exactly, I sort of thought about putting this in my Netflix queue eventually, but after seeing the trailer over and over on scifi.com, I hate this movie so, so much.
There needs to be a word for advertising that is so awful it drives you away from the product.
The reason that Len Wiseman won't have "anything to do with it" is because he and Kate Beckinsale basically hooked up while filming the first movie WHEN KATE AND MICHAEL SHEEN WHERE STILL TOGETHER. I wouldn't want to be directing a movie that centers around my wife's ex either, particularly given the circumstances.
It can't possibly be worse than Underworld: Evolution.
I've always considered the Underworld movies to be nothing more than an excuse to put Kate Beckinsale in a leather catsuit. Not that I'm complaining - merely making an observation.
I don't mind the first two Underworld movies, but I hate prequels and wasn't going to see this movie 'till I watched the trailer and saw Rhona Mitra...
Rhona Mitra = Awesomeness; although she'll always be Tara to me!
how about badvertising?
There needs to be a word for advertising that is so awful it drives you away from the product.
I propose "badvertising"
Third installment of Doomsday? There was a second one?
As for the first Doomsday, one post-apocalyptic car chase doesn't make it The Road Warrior. It was a mildly entertaining film, and probably did more for Mitra's career than this one will--wait, she probably got this role in part because of Doomsday. Hmm...
I always thought that word was advertising.
My core Rhona Mitra experience was her stint panting at Christophe Lambert in a version of "Beowulf" so wretchedly rotten it must be seen to be believed: and please understand that I would advocate disbelief and ignorance at all costs. I'm not seeing how she could possibly redeem herself from THAT, but will take her fanbase at their/your words.
(I kind of love Sheen's relish for the Underworld role. He clearly has a hell of a time with these flicks.)
I'm not sure why prequels are still in fashion -- they are mostly anti-climactic by design.
Unless there is a total reboot of the storyline (such as Batman Begins), the fate of all the main characters is predetermined.
...so the level of suspense is already compromised.
The entire article drips condescension and pretension an impressive combination. Vampires vs Werewolves is a fun idea which the Underworld series has a good time depicting. Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy were excellent in the first one and I`m looking forward to their expanded roles in the prequel. I`ll pick these films over the overbaked southern Gothic metaphor fest that is True Blood any day.
Wow, I wish I had read this yesterday...I let my bf pick our date night movie, guess what he picked...
Painful, save the Michael Sheen semi-nakedness!
I saw the first two, so I went to see this one last night. If you take the movie for only popcorn thrill fun, then it'll be enjoyable. Don't take it seriously, then you won't like it. I enjoyed it, the final battle scene makes it worth watching.
I agree with Ashley. It was pure gory vamp/werewolf goodness. It doesn't hold up to intense scrutiny, but it's fun! I'd say don't pay theater prices, but do put it in the Netflix queue if you liked the previous Underworld movies.
Commenting again. And it at least stays true to the storyline between Sonja and Lucian. How many other movies totally ignore the backstory of their predecessors? I know that it's not going to win any awards but the movie is good and it's worth seeing, either by Netflixing it or by theatre. And thanks Erin.
Whatever dude. I'd probably care about your opinion if not for that generalization right in the first sentence.
I haven't seen the first two Underworlds, so normally I wouldn't be interested in this.
BUT now I might have to check it out because, after reading a few reviews, it seems that the general consensus is that Michael Sheen tears this movie apart with his incredible acting skills.
If you liked the first two (which I did), you'll like this one. This series is not terribly ambitious, but it does what it does well....a vampire vs. werewolf saga. As prequels go, this one ain't bad. It was set up well in parts 1 and 2 and is generally satisfying.
Badvertising?
Sorry but I have to defend Patrick Tatopoulos. The man is is beyond brilliant. We're talking about the production designer that gave us the look of Stargate, Pitch Black, Independence Day, all the Underworld movies, and Dark freaking City. Calling him "the Battlefield Earth guy" does him a great disservice.
I've actually seen that Beowulf movie! It's worth seeing for the sheer unbelievable awfulness. Yeah, I have a hard time believing she could be good in anything either.
9 reasons you shouldnt see und.. Peachy :)
9 reasons you shouldnt see und.. Bang-up :)