Bride Wars: Not Just Poorly Written, But Offensive

Bride Wars is the type of movie that's so offensive, no one is immune. No, really -- no one. This movie's offensive to women, anyone who cares about or respects women, Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Candice Bergen, anyone who's ever liked any of those actresses in anything, anyone who has ever been or might ever get married, anyone who has ever been engaged, anyone who has ever been in a relationship and/or anyone who is now or has ever struggled financially. If you don't see yourself in anything on this list, Bride Wars might be the movie for you.

Otherwise, it will find a way to offend you. Starting with the premise: Two best friends, who have been best friends since they were very little girls, want to get married. That's all they've ever wanted. They pretended to get married when they were little, and doing the real thing is all they've ever dreamed of. Specifically, they want to get married at the Plaza. They grow up, and one of them (Kate Hudson) is a tough-as-nails, badass bitch -- oops, I mean lawyer, and the other (Anne Hathaway) is a sweet, weak, pathetic, spineless pushover. She's also a teacher. They both have boyfriends and they both get engaged, and because of an administrative error, their weddings end up on the same date. Neither will cave, so they start planning without one another, and it turns competitive and stupid, what with the dying each other's hair blue and fake-tanning each other into an orange mess that we all have seen in the trailer.

The movie portrays the two main characters as fanatical idiots who care about nothing but getting married. They will do anything to have the perfect wedding. And their idea of a perfect wedding costs at least $1 million. And even teacher Hathaway can afford this, because she started saving when she was 16. She must be much older than she looks, then, right? Like, 300? Or else this movie wants us to believe we can afford weddings such as this on a teacher's salary if we just save like a good little girl. And the extravagance is ridiculous and unnecessary and pointless (especially considering there is no real demonstration of, you know, love in either of the relationships the movie's about).

In addition to the main characters, who are willing to destroy their longest friendship to have the "perfect" day (the moral tries to be that you can't have your perfect day without your oldest friend there, but it mostly fails at that, too). And the other women in the film (their friends, their co-workers, their wedding planner, their wedding planner's assistant) are either selfish and ignorant; pathetic and jealous; bitter and cold; or uncaring and driven by money. I wouldn't have thought it was possible for a movie to be released that was more offensive to women than The Women, but here we have it. When one of the betrothed men tells the other, "They haven't spoken for a week. That's like a century in girl," it not only doesn't make any sense at all, but it also demonstrates just how deeply whoever wrote this movie hates women -- that it would give us these men delivering these "funny" lines about the women they are going to marry, as if all women are the same.

All of this offensiveness wouldn't even be a problem if the movie were actually funny. But there is exactly one funny joke in the movie, and it's about the "International Butter Club" being one of many types of junk food eaten by former fattie Hudson. (I know, right? She used to have a big ass, okay? That makes it easier for string bean Hathaway to have snappy comebacks. You know, so she can say things, like, "Your wedding will be huge. Just like your ass at prom.") Okay, I was wrong; even the butter-club joke wasn't funny. It just seemed funny next to all of the other tripe in the movie.

Try as they might, Hudson and Hathaway cannot make any of this funny or meaningful in even the remotest way -- and they do try; I'll give them that. Hathaway gives us a hell of a sexy dance when she crashes her former BFF's bachelorette party, but it's not interesting or exciting or even a little bit amusing. And Hudson is perky, bubbly and cute (not to mention completely unbelievable as a high-powered attorney), but when she has to scream "A week! A week! A week!" repeatedly after having her hair dyed blue, you will be more likely to plug your ears than to laugh. And they both bring emotion toward the end of the film, but since they deserve all their hurt feelings and more, it won't muster any sympathy from audiences anytime soon.

Tell us what you thought of Bride Wars, or why you won't be going to see it anytime soon.

42 Comments

January 9, 2009 1:43 PM
Aislynn
Reply

I won't be going to see this because I'm sick of hearing about "dream weddings", and I certainly don't want to be trapped in a theatre watching shrews shrieking about how the other person is ruining their "perfect day". I realize it's supposed to be entertainment, but this sounds like less fun than a root canal. A wedding is one day. To waste all that money and effort and emotion on one day shows that people don't realize the work that goes into an actual marriage.

January 9, 2009 1:58 PM
Michelle
Reply

Well, I'm getting married in two months and have thought for a a while "this would be really fun to see with my bridesmaids" after we did a wedding-related activity. However, between this review and listening to Mr Moviephone tell my local DJ this morning what a giant piece of crap this is, I think I'll be skipping it. I'm a budget-bride!

January 9, 2009 3:00 PM
Odienator
Reply

With all the episodes of the HIT SHOW Bridezilla, it was only a matter of time before somebody made a movie featuring big stars as Bridezillas. Anne Hathaway pulls a Norbit here, wrecking her chances for the Oscar, and I can't imagine why either actress could have read this script and thought it was worth making. Ladies, don't take your man to see this. You think he has commitment-phobia now? Imagine how he'll feel after seeing these two ridiculous heifers go at it! If I pulled a reverse Beyonce, that is, if I were a girl, I'd protest and demand a public apology from the makers of this film and also from Jared Jewellers. Both of these culprits have made your gender out to be a bunch of greedy, gold-digging b-words. If Proposition 8 wanted to be useful about banning something marriage oriented, it should have banned shit like this movie.

January 9, 2009 8:42 PM
Rowena
Reply
replied to comment from Odienator

I agree with your post completely, Odi, except the part where you call Kate and Anne "heifers." That's a bit out of line, not to mention untrue.

January 10, 2009 2:39 AM
Brn2bwild
Reply

Didn't Kate Hudson partially finance this movie?

January 10, 2009 4:39 PM
redrobin27
Reply
replied to comment from Rowena

I assumed heifers were referring to the character of the movie rather than actresses?

January 11, 2009 3:26 AM
Neil
Reply

The movie is offensive to practically everyone, but the fat jokes are okay? Nice.

January 11, 2009 9:18 AM
jody
Reply

I went to see License To Wed for one reason and one reason only..John Krasinski. Since Bride Wars does not have John Krasinski in it, I think I'll pass. One horrendous, life wasting, cringe inducing wedding movie is more than enough for a lifetime.

January 11, 2009 1:27 PM
Anonymous
Reply

It's basically social commentary of how out of control the wedding industry is. Too bad it misses the mark on being a comedy even though you can tell Hudson and Hathaway really tried to make it work.

January 11, 2009 1:38 PM
Colletteri
Reply

This review confirms what I suspected even from just seeing the trailers on TV this week. If they were "spoofing" how crazy and out of control the wedding industry AND the women who buy into it have gotten, that's one thing. But it sounds like they are just out to make girls look greedy and stupid.. unfortanetly all those brides on Platinum weddings etc saying" I desrve it" for the $60,000 ice sculpturre etc. have reinforced this notion.

January 11, 2009 1:39 PM
meghan
Reply

Kate Hudson has only made two decent films in her entire career. The fact that she keeps getting cast in films like she is a bankable asset floors me. Her films suck, she plays herself over and over again and more often than not these films don't set the box office on fire.

January 11, 2009 1:39 PM
meghan
Reply

Kate Hudson has only made two decent films in her entire career. The fact that she keeps getting cast in films like she is a bankable asset floors me. Her films suck, she plays herself over and over again and more often than not these films don't set the box office on fire.

January 11, 2009 3:58 PM
Jane
Reply

I like Anne Hathaway, but I've never really cared for Kate Hudson - she gets on my nerves in just about every movie she's ever been in. This movie looks absolutely awful, and I hope I never, ever have to see it. It doesn't look funny at all.

January 12, 2009 12:23 AM
Anonymous
Reply

You just convinced me to see this train wreck. I want to resist, but I cannot look away.

April 29, 2009 2:22 PM
Jacqui
Reply

Goodness Women! You are all way out in left field! First of all this is a movie; people; Not a documentary! Is all your lives so intense that you cannot merely sit back relax and let yourselves be entertained with a 'fairy tale'?

This movie is a story...just that and it carries with it emotions that flow over to the viewer lettiing you actually FEEL how very close friends truly end up being so important in our lives. The blue hair, blood orange tan, chocolates etc. just add fun entertainment to a true best friends relationship thru thick and thin. Everything else is just entertainment with no meaning to you personally or to all the women of the world!

So for those out there who are not uptight and are open to allowing themselves to be taken away for a couple hours and come away with the simple emotions meant with this movie, then this is a GREAT MOVIE for you.

P.S. Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson were great in these parts, they portrayed them as I am sure they were written. Kate and Anne's jobs were to portray best friends...and that they did!

May 12, 2009 10:17 AM
nikki
Reply

I agree with the girl above.^

June 20, 2009 5:35 PM
THE ONE
Reply

WOW, you suck! That movie was FUCKING AWESOME!I HATE YOU BITCH!

June 20, 2009 5:37 PM
THE ONE
Reply
replied to comment from Jacqui

I LOVE YOU BITCH!

June 29, 2009 4:37 PM
Jas
Reply

I saw this movie in a packed theatre and everyone laughed and enjoyed it. its really too bad you couldn't do the same. I mean how sensitive could you be that this movie was so offensive to you? I thought it was a perfect depiction of how material wants can overshadow more important aspects of life. like frienship.

and if you didn't get that or the jokes (which by the way... my friends and i laugh constantly about he international butter club) then I only feel sorry for you. I'll bet you hate more movies than you love huh...

December 1, 2009 7:30 PM
Cassie
Reply

It's a movie. It's not an offensive movie. It's just a movie. And it's a funny movie if you chill out and stop being offended by every little detail. It's obviously not the world's best movie. But no one thought it would be. It's a random chick flick. And for that category? it's fine.

December 8, 2009 3:02 PM
GETALIFE
Reply

I think all of you women who thought this was offensive and actually took the time to write all your comments need to get a life & a man. This movies was sooooooooooooooo funny. It's entertainment... just a movie girls..... and a very funny movie!!!!

January 3, 2010 2:25 PM
Reallyppl?
Reply

I agree with the few people above whos saying that if you're offended by this movie then you're just retarded...it's a f*cuking movie! I really agree with everything Jacqui said...she said it! woot

January 7, 2010 10:01 PM
IDIOTSREALLY
Reply

Its just a movie calm down i saw this movie with a chunky girl she is big she laughed at the comment about the fat jokes she calls her self a mountin and she like to wear red cause she looks like mrs.koolaid too, if your offended by the jokes then you really dont have good self confidence if she can laugh why cant you its just a damn movie.

January 16, 2010 12:54 AM
Critics
Reply
replied to comment from Jas

You people are mest up its just a movie not reality and how would you feel if PEOPLE said you had a fat a**

January 25, 2010 3:52 PM
Poppyseed
Reply

i just happened upon this site while watching the movie Bride Wars, wondering what exactly the international butterclub was... and its like you're writing straight from my mind! i mean every time one of the characters speaks i get a strong urge to change the channel.

June 10, 2010 2:37 PM
Chelseanne elli
Reply

This movie is one of my favorites. I saw it on my birthday with my best friend, and we loved the movie . We have been friends our whole lives and amusingly, she is an independant blonde and I am her brunette friend depending on her. We loooooooved the movie and it was absolutely hilarious!!! The jokes were witty and the actions were made with emotion and it was great!! The actresses, two of m top favorites actually, were genius and played their roles perfectly. Each character, I admit, denonstrates a negitive quality in a woman. But this is supposed to show us that everyone is jealous once in a while and it gives us a chance to laugh at ourselves. It shows us, in a comical way, how us woman can be sometimes. And it all makes sence and overall, it shows the theme, friendship, and relationship win. And all is good. They just got caught up。it's made funnier that everyone knows a pushover, a control freak, a slacker, a busybody, a leader, the jealous one, and it's funny seeing it portreyed becuz everyone can relate. If your friends bf broke up with her, would every person who has ever been on a relationship take offense? Then why take offense to the story? Whoever wrote this, I mean no disrespect. My opinion just differs greatly and it appears you are reading too far into the story and trying to take offense to it. The story is not meant to offend anyone, and peoples problems don't offend you in real life, why take offense to peoples problems in fantasy. Maybe you should lighten up.
It can't be healthy being so negitive . ..
Sincerely,
Chelsea

March 19, 2011 8:03 PM
Suzie
Reply

I think you have totally missed the whole point of the film as it clearly mocks the wedding scene and how girls can get obsessed by it. I think its a fun feel good film; i think your review is more a reflection of how you feel about life!! Also get of your feminist high horse, clearly not all woman are like that and if we are portrayed in one film as being a bit giggly, hormonal and wedding obsessed who cares?!!

well you obviously but no one else does!

August 27, 2011 8:17 PM
Caitlyn
Reply

I completely agree with Suzie, it is obviously written as mockery. And get the hell over yourself with the feminism; if women can refer to men in the same way, "as if they're all the same," and we do while nobody thinks twice about it, men can as well. Aren't there enough gender-related double standards without people like you adding even more?

August 27, 2011 8:18 PM
Caitlyn
Reply

I completely agree with Suzie, it is obviously written as mockery. And get the hell over yourself with the feminism; if women can refer to men in the same way, "as if they're all the same," and we do while nobody thinks twice about it, men can as well. Aren't there enough gender-related double standards without people like you adding even more?

August 28, 2011 4:03 PM
Sara
Reply

I'm finally watching this movie for the 1st time on tv. It's actually pretty funny and spot on with how ridiculous some women get about their weddings or anything they take oober serious in their lives. Some of you need to get a sense of humor. I didn't take offense to any part of this movie and I am woman that has been married and I'm not giving up hope that just because my ex is a complete jackoff there has got to be decent men out there. So ladies, take the pole out of your asses and get over yourselves. Learn to laugh!

September 1, 2011 8:13 PM
Julia
Reply

This movie was funny as fuck, i didn't find anything offensive about it.

September 5, 2011 1:02 AM
arianah
Reply

My fave part is when they see each other before they go in an they both shrug oh its so sad...this movie reminds me of me and my sister we r just like them but I'm k. Hudson the Fucking favorate movie in the flipping world i watched it 19 times in one day or led in to two days this movie is association.e and ur fuckin stupid its like ur jellous!!!

September 5, 2011 1:02 AM
arianah
Reply

My fave part is when they see each other before they go in an they both shrug oh its so sad...this movie reminds me of me and my sister we r just like them but I'm k. Hudson the Fucking favorate movie in the flipping world i watched it 19 times in one day or led in to two days this movie is association.e and ur fuckin stupid its like ur jellous!!!

October 16, 2011 11:08 AM
Ellie
Reply

Love this film loads. Not offensive at all.

November 6, 2011 11:53 PM
Kim
Reply
replied to comment from Julia

Julia, I might not have put it that way, but I agree. I must say that some people have to much time on their hands and not a normal thought running through thier heads to get so up in arms about as if it was a personel attack on them. GET OVER IT PEOPLE! Far more ridiculous movies our there than this!

November 6, 2011 11:59 PM
Roni
Reply
replied to comment from meghan

Well Meghan, how many decent films do you have out there?......that's what I thought!

November 13, 2011 4:25 PM
lexi
Reply

i totally disagree! Bride wars is my fave movie!! its not silly movie!! and duh! the ending is happy! wake up people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 13, 2011 4:27 PM
lexi
Reply
replied to comment from Julia

i agree with u!! :D

November 26, 2011 8:43 PM
Lily
Reply

Wow. You have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Its a film. Nothing more. Even if there are people like this in the world be proud youre not one of them. But honestly im thinking youre worse.. one of the people who finds everything offencive and hurtful to you. Wow. Get over it and learn to laugh! That is all :)

November 26, 2011 8:43 PM
Lily
Reply

Wow. You have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Its a film. Nothing more. Even if there are people like this in the world be proud youre not one of them. But honestly im thinking youre worse.. one of the people who finds everything offencive and hurtful to you. Wow. Get over it and learn to laugh! That is all :)

January 23, 2012 9:34 AM
Tristan
Reply

Im a little late getting to this article, however, I am shoocked at what I read! You are insane to think the movie Bride Wars is offensive. It is one of my favorite movies! It turned a romantic time into a comedy, it showed how women get while trying to plan a dream wedding- how out of control they allow their emotions to get & how it affects friendships & even their relationships. I'm sorry, but if you allowed yourself to be offended by this movie, then you must have very, extrememely LOW self conifidence. Or you're the type of spinster, that is over 35 & still not married. But don't take out your pathetic life on those who aren't as misfurtunate. And judging Anne Hathoway & Kate Hudson's acting careers based on this one movie is absolutely immature. I'm a big movie critic, along with actors and actresses, & these women are remarkable. They are truly talented women, both on & off stage. This movie they worked so well together in creating the sense of two real best friends & showing how real women tend to fight among themselves. Don't be ridiculous people- give the movie a try! You will laugh, & you will cry at times for how touching it really is! It boggles my mind the person who wrote the article found this movie offensive, & judged Kate & Anne's acting skills based on a FICTIONAL movie.

Feel free to respond- id love to keep this arguement going.

January 23, 2012 9:41 AM
Paige
Reply

The movie The Women- also one of my favorites. It was so touching, inspiring, & a visionary. Who are you!? You are offensive to me, and you're making us "women" look like emotional hags who can't even accept & enjoy a comedy. You make us out to be uptight, over bearing, control freaks. The Women was a revaluation- it was an inspired remake, & it was a wonderful, heartfelt, witty, & funny remake. Get a life & maybe some perspective when you're out there getting one.

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