(DECEPTI)CON #1: The first movie was a train wreck.
No, not a car wreck, although there were certainly plenty of those on-screen. No, I mean the plot, the robots' dialogue and most of the human performances were unbearably bad. The robot redesigns were certainly disappointing, since you often couldn't tell who was who at first glance, but even robots and vehicles that looked like the ones we all remembered wouldn't have hidden the fact that most of the movie was humans doing slapstick comedy, and at one point Bumblebee pees on John Turturro.

(AUTO)PRO #1: The second movie has even cooler Transformers in it.
Yeah, Optimus Prime was great, and pretty much all the Decepticons were scary as hell, but this movie is rolling out a lot of new models. Soundwave, the cool Decepticon who used to turn into a tape recorder, is back as a satellite. Arcee, one of the few female Transformers, appears here as three pink-and-purple motorcycles. Supposedly, the giant Decepticon named Devastator will also appear as the combined form of several vehicles. And the titular "Fallen," who's depicted on the new poster, is none other than The Fallen, a character from the comics who was one of the original Transformers. Of course, some people seem to think the robot on the poster is actually Jetfire, but that wouldn't be the worst thing I've ever heard.

(DECEPTI)CON #2: Michael Bay is still involved.
Michael Bay is not a very good director. You can tell me how much money he made 'till the cows come home, but Pearl Harbor is simply not a good movie. Neither is The Rock, nor Con Air, nor Bad Boys, nor Armageddon, nor The Island. Not that a movie about robot toys has to be Oscar-worthy, but it would be nice if it didn't insult our intelligence and didn't allow pointless comedic scenes to interrupt the movie's pacing. Sadly, Bay himself started to write this one while the writers were on strike, so expect even more Bay touches. (The peeing thing was all him, BTW.)

(AUTO)PRO #2: Megan Fox is still involved.
It's sad, but Megan Fox is actually more of a draw for me this time around than John Turturro. After his over-the-top performance in the last film, I'm not that interested to see him play the same role again. Meanwhile, Megan Fox can be stared at for hours, but only through a box with a pinhole in it.

(DECEPTI)CON #3: There's an ice-cream truck Transformer in it.
Transformers have turned into many things over the years. There have been robots that turned into cassette tapes, microscopes, flying saucers, dinosaurs, polar bears, tow trucks... you name it. But an ice cream truck? Really? Are we that desperate to make this movie funny? Oh, well -- at least it will be actual robots mugging for the camera this time, and not Anthony Anderson.

(AUTO)PRO #3: It's the frickin' Transformers.
I was born in 1977, which makes me, pretty much by default, a Transformers fan. Growing up in their heyday, I was bombarded with the cartoon, the animated movie, the comic books, the pencil cases, the lunchboxes and, of course, the toys. Having a father who knew people at the toy company certainly didn't help matters -- we lived in Rhode Island, which means not far from Hasbro HQ -- and while I don't collect them any more, I still consider myself a casual fan. Which is why I have a framed Transformers poster from my childhood -- given to my dad by one of the Hassenfeld brothers -- hanging on my wall today. (My wife is very understanding.)

...And I'm still torn. What about you all? Are you in or are you out?