What Do Joaquin Phoenix and Biggie Smalls Have In Common? There must be some sort of Venn diagram which illustrates that the likelihood of a Hollywood actor to try his hand at rapping is directly proportional to how insufferable he is in other facets of his life. Let me give you an example: Did you know that Tom Green has released not one, but two hip hop albums? True story. By now you've probably seen the footage of Joaquin Phoenix onstage rapping (and promptly falling off the stage -- hee!) for some documentary Casey Affleck is producing about Phoenix's attempt to become a hip hopper. And just a couple days ago, Jim Carrey jumped up onstage with Fiddy Cent for no apparent reason.

I'm starting to fear this is becoming an all-out trend. Before all the media whores who have already released sex tapes and adopted kids from third world countries jump on this band wagon -- do we really need Paris Hilton's tribute to KRS-One? -- I've come up with a list of celebs I'd pay money to hear throw down a rhyme or two on wax, complete with their scientifically generated emcee names. Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments. Word to ya moms.

Helen Mirren -- Milfy Way
Mickey Rourke -- Mos Busted
Tilda Swinton -- Swizzlesticks
Meryl Streep -- Streeplyfe
Angelina Jolie -- Da Black Widow
Jon Hamm -- MC Lunch
Sean Penn -- Powda Fresh
Dustin Hoffman -- Lil D
Dakota Fanning -- Chyld Abyoose
Mark Walberg -- Marky Mark

1 Comments

January 22, 2009 1:53 AM
jerrrry
Reply

Tom Green started off his entertainment career in rap. In fact his first album with Organized Rhyme was nominated for a Juno (Canadian Grammy). There's an interview from 1990, yes that is right 1990, just type in "Organized Rhyme Interview with Tom Green" into YouTube for the footage.

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