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10 Literary Classics That Could Use Monsters, Robots and Gore
Elton John's Rocket Pictures is putting together a new take on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. They won't just be taking the same old story and transplanting it to modern times, oh no. This new reimagining will be called Pride and Predator and while it will be set in the novel's original time period, things will be decidedly different when a murderous alien is thrown into the mix. Naturally, this got me thinking. First I thought, "Elton John? Really?" Then I thought about all the other classics of literature that could get new titles and add in a few monsters, robots, or general helpings of gore.
1. The Merchant of Venus: A young Venusian merchant strikes a deal with an android lender named Cylock in order to finance a friend's spaceship. When the merchant defaults on the loan, Cylock comes calling for his pound of flesh--and this time a legal loophole won't stop him.
2. Bleak House on Haunted Hill: Sure, Richard and Ada, you'll finally win your inheritance... on the condition you survive one night in a haunted house.
3. Silas Mourner: A hermit named Silas adopts a little girl... a little girl from hell! It wasn't an opium overdose that killed her mother. Unless it was opium... from hell!
4. David Copperplanet: Have you ever seen Ice Pirates? It's like that, but he steals copper instead of ice. Copper thievery is way up for real, so it could totally happen. And anyway, there should just be more movies with Space Herpes.
5. The Importance of Being Furnaced: Two men take on assumed identities in this new take on an Oscar Wilde play, leading to misunderstandings and mishaps. When their lady loves discover the truth, the cads are are burnt to death, only to then haunt the dreams of their murderers. It's a comedy.
6. A Tale of Two Space Stations: It was the most stable of orbits, it was the most decaying of orbits...
7. Jane Eyrebender: I have no idea what it would be about, but let it fight it out with M. Night Shyamalan's take on Avatar: The Last Airbender.
8. Séance and Sensibility: Three sisters conduct a séance to ask the spirit world about the true intentions of their suitors. It's less annoying than He's Just Not That Into You, plus there are ghosts!
9. Cloverfield Park: This one sticks very closely to Jane Austen's original Mansfield Park. Except Fanny Price turns into a gigantic rampaging beast after being treated poorly by her snotty cousins.
10. Grave Expectations: Miss Havisham is now a zombie, obsessed with her wedding. It's like Bride Wars, except instead of killing the audience's soul, she devours the brains of wayward grooms.
What other literary/genre mash-ups would you like to see?
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what? they're not making "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?"
That's totally what I was expecting when I clicked on the link, but alas!
How about:
Anne of Green Gargoyles
The Great Gatsby vs. Godzilla
The Sorrows of Undead Werther
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a book, not a movie.
Yeah Anna, but they are apparently making it into a movie. Now there's news of this predator one. But I think it's all a joke. Heh, heh... BRILLIANT title, Tippi - have passed this on to lots of other people. Love Anne of Green Gargoyles too...
They already ruined this story in Baliwood - see "Bride and Predjudice". It's like the original, only set in India, and with more singing and dancing.
Oh man.
Well, it'll probably still be better than the Keira Knightly version... and the Bollywood version... and the Mormon version.
Actually, "Grave Expectations" doesn't sound half bad. Heh.
A Killer for All Seasons
A Christmas Carnage
Crime and Punishment (no need to change title)
Howard's Dead-End
Huckleberry Sin
Moby Sick
A Room with a Boo!
Uncle Tom's Laboratory
Wuthering Bites
Singularity, those sound like excellent titles for episodes of The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror. I'd totally watch them.
Once again,great fun. Thank you. How about "Taming of the Shrew" with giant shrews?
Cliff, how about "Taming of the Shroom" with giant carnivorous mushrooms?
Joe vs the Vulcan
Goredfellas
The Late Gatsby
The Slashed King of Scotland
The Maltese Ripper
The Apes of Wrath
Confessions of a Chopaholic
Breakfast with Leatherface
A Confederacy of Monsters
The Ghoul of San Luis Rey
To Kill a Chupacabra
The Decapitation of Miss Jean Brodie
How about the "MAIMING of the Shrew" which combines the classic Shakespeare work with "Saw?"
I was going to try to come up with something, but honestly, "The Apes of Wrath" way too good. So many possibilities
I loved this, except the part about Pride and Predator for real. When Elton John hires M. Night Shahaman to direct it,I will official start screaming.
Very fun! I do wish that the actual movies being made were just in jest!
Oliver Twister
An orphan boy taken in by a gang of pickpockets runs in terror as he is chased by Bill Sykes and the worst natural disaster to ever hit the streets of 19th century London!
10 literary classics that coul.. WTF? :)
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