Elton John's Rocket Pictures is putting together a new take on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. They won't just be taking the same old story and transplanting it to modern times, oh no. This new reimagining will be called Pride and Predator and while it will be set in the novel's original time period, things will be decidedly different when a murderous alien is thrown into the mix. Naturally, this got me thinking. First I thought, "Elton John? Really?" Then I thought about all the other classics of literature that could get new titles and add in a few monsters, robots, or general helpings of gore.

You've seen the costumes. You've heard the nerd complaints. You may have even seen The Mummy 3. But now we've all seen the trailer for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, directed by Mummy helmer Stephen Sommers, and... it doesn't look half-bad! Sure, the Joes all wear black instead of green camo and sailor suits, and Destro doesn't seem to have a mask yet, but Snake Eyes looks pretty damn cool, and the Baroness is hot in a Sienna Millerish kinda way. The Gallaga brothers thought it looked pretty neat, too, and they're hardcore G.I. Joe fans -- check out their latest episode of Trailers Without Pity, in which they break down the Joe trailer for newbies and fans alike. Watch it after the jump!

After months of geeking out over every bit of news we could find about Quentin Tarantino's war movie -- and misspelling the title every time we wrote about it -- it's finally here: the teaser trailer for Inglourious Basterds. And while it looks pretty bad-ass, it also kinda looks like any other World War II movie, if all World War II movies had Brad Pitt leading an all-Jewish squad of Nazi-killers. While it was cool seeing actors B. J. Novak and Samm Levine on the team, we were kind of hoping for a bit more of Quentin's usually inspired casting of familiar faces. However, Hostel director Eli Roth did creep us out as the smirking, baseball-bat-wielding sadist of the group, so maybe Quentin should have cast more of today's best-known directors? We would totally go see a movie where Quentin led a team of eight filmmakers against the Nazis -- or better yet, the MPAA! Here's who we think should be on that directorial dream team.

Okay, maybe "tackles" is a slight exaggeration. Here was the situation: In a massive auditorium at the Jacob Javits Center, a really idiotic woman got up to ask a question. While everyone else had somewhat interesting queries for Jared Padalecki (presumably the hero), Derek Mears (Jason) and producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form, one woman was clearly there only because of the dreaminess that is Padalecki (and no... it wasn't me. I swear). She stood in front of a crowd of fans who had just enthusiastically cheered for the very brutal and somewhat impressively disgusting first five minutes of Friday the 13th that were screened and admitted she wasn't a horror fan. This caused Mears to faux-storm off the panel and Padalecki to chase after him, physically stop him from running off and calm him down. It was much more hysterical than it sounds.

This October, after 58 years and three different TV shows, the world will finally get a feature-length film about Japanese pop-culture icon Astro Boy. The computer-generated spectacle has been in the works for three years, and features top-notch animation as well as an all-star voice cast. And it is going to fail miserably. We don't want it to, because the footage shown at this past weekend's New York Comic-Con was visually impressive, but it will, because it has too many things working against it. Which is too bad, because you'd think that a movie about a boy who's also a superhero robot would do great, right? Yeah, sadly, it won't. Wanna know why? Read on.

There are just a few days till the golden statuettes are handed out. You're running out of time to see all the nominees so you can sound like you know what you're talking about at your Oscar party. Don't panic! You have options. You could call in sick and go on a nonstop marathon of movie watching, get your guests liquored up on party night so they just think you know what you're talking about, or tell everyone you're taking a vow of silence until Capitol Hill sorts out this whole economic stimulus thing. All these carry with them a certain amount of risk, though, so I propose a fourth option: just watch Pixar's WALL-E instead. Seriously. Recently I was embarking on my own movie marathon to re-familiarize myself with the choices. I started with WALL-E, which is up for an award in the Animated Feature category, and it occurred to me how it shared many elements of other Oscar nominees. Really, if you've seen this endearing story, you've seen most of the others. Keep reading to find out how adorable robots can help you out come the night of the 81st Academy Awards.

So I mostly went to the Warner Brothers screening (which consisted of Watchmen, Friday the 13th and Terminator: Salvation) to see Terminator footage (okay, and to stare at Jared Padalecki for a while). And when we were told they were showing the Watchmen intro footage that they'd shown to the press, I sighed -- not because it wasn't awesome (it was), but because I'd already seen it and was hoping I'd at least get a little something else. I'm greedy like that. And very impatient. But then the teeming masses were informed that we'd get a little bit extra... that no one had seen before. Then, all of a sudden, I was on the edge of my seat.

McG is certainly an unusual person. I wrote "insane" in big letters in my notebook, and underlined it, but I think it is actually enthusiasm. Anyway, he helmed the most rip-roaring panel that I attended this weekend at Comic-Con. He was in the biggest room, with a hugely critical crowd presenting eight minutes of his take on the Terminator franchise just days after the Christian Bale rant leaked out all over the internet and basically made it look like an out of control set. But McG strutted out in front of the masses who had waited hours on line to see this panel (OK, and Watchmen too) and right out of the gate started talking about why he wanted to make this movie, and when a bit of feedback interrupted his tale and an audience member shouted, "that's fucking unprofessional," he laughed it off, and said simply, "I'm good." At least this wild and unpredictable director who riled the crowd by calling Christian Bale at home via cell phone (Bale's wife answered and told McG he was crazy... he readily agreed), plucked a member of the audience out to ask his question on stage simply because he was wearing a Cyberdyne T-shirt and him screaming to the projectionist that the trailer had "better be loud" got this girl in the mood to see how Skynet takes over the world.

Making fun of movies like Confessions of a Shopaholic is admittedly pretty fish-in-a-barrel as far as making fun of movies goes, but still -- these things continue to be made and relentlessly advertised, and women continue to pay money to see them even though they're insulting in every way imaginable, and that's something I've never understood. I guess it's my pop culture blind spot, and there's clearly some kind of appeal these movies have that I just don't get. But no matter what that allure is, it doesn't negate the fact that movies like this get greenlit by a bunch of men sitting around agreeing that women are shallow and stupid enough to enjoy this crap, and that notion is then enforced by things like 27 Dresses and He's Just Not That Into You killing the box office almost every single time they're released, and I'm sitting here still confused. These movies are not just boring and harmless; they set us back. They make us stupider. They re-enforce gender roles. They're bad for everyone. And here are just a few of the many reasons why Confessions of a Shopaholic is no exception.

Think you've learned all you can learn from the Friday the 13th films? Think again. While there have been ten installments of Friday the 13th already, plus one crossover with A Nightmare on Elm Street, the new, Michael Bay-produced, Jared Padalecki-starring remake takes the franchise in a totally new direction, with totally new lessons and a totally new take on the hockey-mask-wearing, machete-brandishing serial killer Jason Voorhees! ...Okay, so maybe the take is more or less the same (why mess with perfection, right?) but those lessons are still there! Here are ten things we've learned from the latest Jason adventure.