April 2009 Archives
If you've been keeping up with entertainment news, then you know that two remakes of cult-classic films were recently announced: David Cronenberg's Videodrome is being remade into a sci-fi action thriller and Drop Dead Fred is being re-done with Brit comic Russell Brand. We're not sure we see the logic -- are they hoping that these underperforming movies will make a lot more money the second time around? If that's the case, we came up with ten old, used-up cult films that deserve to be seen by wider audiences, preferably by adding a lot of big-budget special effects and A-list talent. After all, who wants to see a movie that was made in 1985? Ugh!
This Friday, the latest big-budget superhero movie hits theaters, and... well, a bunch of people have already seen it, thanks to a leaked bootleg copy, minus a lot of special effects. We haven't seen the bootleg ourselves -- and if we did, we certainly wouldnt tell anybody about it -- but we've seen enough trailers and teaser footage to give us a pretty good idea of what's going on. Plus, we've read enough X-Men comics to choke an industrial paper shredder, which makes us highly qualified to create a field guide to the super-powered mutants who will be popping up (and popping claws) in the latest X-movie. Only a few have been seen on the big screen before, and even they may not be so familiar anymore, as they're played by different actors. Check out all the new faces in out X-Men Origins: Wolverine gallery!
We've sent the studio angry letters, but this movie is still coming out. Seriously, Zach Galifianakis and Will Arnett? Seriously? Times are so tight that you have to take jobs in a movie about government-trained, black-ops guinea pigs? We don't care if those guinea piga are voiced by some of the biggest TV and movie stars working today. They aren't showing their faces! You, on the other hand, are. Also not showing their faces? The animated hosts of "Trailers Without Pity," Omar and Pablo Gallaga, who break down the G-Force trailer for people who may not be able to believe what they're seeing. That should include most of you. Check it out in a handy embedded version below, or simply click here.
With a name like Fighting it has to be good, right? Not so much. I'll admit that I was swayed by the title to go see this movie, since I really like watching guys hitting each other (my mom and I bonded over Bloodsport when I was younger) and I enjoyed Channing Tatum in Step Up (I like dance movies almost as much as fighting movies). Seemed like a no-brainer for some mindless fun, but no, they went and ruined it with acting and plot.
Have you noticed this? In the midst of all the 17 Again success, that little powerhouse of sweepy do's and fake varsity basketball production numbers, Zac Efron has been getting compared to a young Tom Cruise a lot this month. I guess it makes sense? When Tom Cruise was 21, he was also very pretty and famous, so it makes total sense to compare the two, because 1) no one other than Tom Cruise has ever exhibited those two characteristics, and 2) it's not like calling someone "the next Tom Cruise" has any negative and/or terrifying connotations or anything, media. It makes perfect sense! Excellent work. Anyway, apparently they mean it as a compliment, because Tom Cruise is quite successful, busy and wealthy, despite all his bad personal press, and I say there's no reason the same can't be true for Zefron. Here are a few ridiculous steps in the shadow of Cruise for him to follow. (Note to Zefron: I love you, so please, for the love of god, don't do any of these things.) And a 5, 6, 7, 8!
Why do so many movies have vague, mysterious titles? They Came From Upstairs? What the hell is that about? Renters? Old Life magazines? Away We Go? Who's going where, and why? Shorts? What about them? They're really comfortable! No, we want titles that tell us who's in them, or what's going to happen, or where it takes place -- it will take a lot of the guesswork out of our movie selection process. When we went to see Knocked Up, we knew it was going to be about an unplanned pregnancy. Beverly Hills Chihuahua? The adventures of a spoiled Mexican dog. Monsters vs. Aliens? Der. Luckily, a bunch of studios are taking a more direct approach this summer, spelling out their films' central themes right there on the marquee. Unless you're the type of person who likes to know every single solitary detail of a movie before you go in, the following movies need no further explanation.
Summer is almost here! You may disagree with us, saying June is still over a month a away, but Hollywood would disagree with you. The summer movie season starts May 1, with the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and it doesn't let up until August! Because we know it's so hard to keep track of what's coming out when, we've begun creating our hand-dandy photo guides to the big releases, starting with one guide for Action and Drama movies, and one for the Sci-Fi, Fantasy and Horror genres. Check them both out, and check back next week for our guide to comedies of both the romantic and non-romantic varieties!
By now, you've all probably seen commercials for The Soloist: Jaime Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., mentally imbalanced musical genius, friendship that transcends differences, yada yada yada. Between the storyline, the high caliber of actors involved and the talent behind the camera, it's as if someone was trying to craft the quintessential Oscar movie. And even though the year is only one-third over, you just know that the folks over at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences are already engraving the plaques on a bunch of their awards, knowing full well that this movie will surely sweep all categories. Is The Soloist the most gratuitously Oscar-friendly movie ever? We think so, and we think it offers aspiring filmmakers a sure-fire recipe for garnering awards. Follow these instructions, and you'll be hugging Daniel Day-Lewis backstage in no time.
The commercials for this movie do it a major disservice by making it look like your average transformation Big or Freaky Friday movie starring Chandler Bing and Zac Efron. It is that, but it's also more than it appears to be on the surface. The movie is about teen basketball phenom Mike O'Donnell, who doesn't go to college because his girlfriend is pregnant and ends up 20 years later as a disgruntled pharmaceutical rep (Matthew Perry) on the verge of a divorce with two teenage kids who hate his guts. He wishes he could go back and do it over, so a magic janitor turns him into a teenager, but he stays in present day. He discovers that he's on a path to help his wife (Leslie Mann) realize that her husband isn't a total loser, and to assist his kids (Sterling Knight and Michelle Trachtenberg) in turning their lives around. There's a ridiculous number of shots of Zac Efron shirtless or playing basketball. There's obligatory near-incest moments and cougar references. There's tons of typical high-school behavior (thankfully, it's more of the Mean Girls variety and less of the High School Musical drivel). But tucked in among all of this solid, amusing, but typical A-story drama is a B-plot that really takes the entire film to a new level.
Back in the '80s, Mike had a best friend who was a nerd, the guy who was given wedgies and stuffed in lockers because he wore a wizard costume to school. But in present day, that nerdy guy is Ned Gold (played by the scene-stealing Thomas Lennon). He's gone from school nerd to king of the geeks. He invented anti-piracy music software and the software to help people steal music. He's put his infinite wealth to good use, buying every collectible and comic book out there. His house is like a movie/comic museum, and he's pretty much my hero. So below are the reasons that he elevates this movie's geek status tenfold.