The Interweb is all abuzz today with news of a Father Knows Best movie in the works at Fox/New Regency. Will the new script dissect the show's oft-criticized paternalism, or skew its overly-rosy view of American life? Nope -- it's going to have a wacky grandpa! Apparently the original plot is going by the wayside in favor of a new dad fighting with his more conservative, live-in father over parenting style, which sounds just hilarious. After all, it's easy to remake these classic TV shows as movies, right? Hmmm... Read on to relive the worst '50-'60s TV reboots ever to appear on the silver screen, and take a gander at some remake ideas we'd rather sit through...

Jason Statham is a force of nature. Whether he's behind the wheel of a car, running flat-out down a city street or having sex with Amy Smart on a mailbox, the man can do anything and look good doing it. And after watching him punch, kick and drive through three Transporter movies, two Cranks and one unfortunate Uwe Boll film, we've started to mentally insert him into other gritty, high-octane movies of the past, usually in the place of other, less-intense actors. He was great in the reinvented Death Race, so why not let him Statham up some other action classics? Here are ten we'd like to see.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. If someone had told me that a movie would come along and combine my love of children's books, Spike Jonze and giant monsters, I would have punched them in the face. So when I first saw the trailer for Jonze's new film Where the Wild Things Are, which I've been seeing teaser images of for nearly a year, I practically wept. The Super Gallaga Brothers aren't crying exactly, but Omar and Pablo were moved enough by the trailer to turn it into one of their patented "Trailers Without Pity" videos, breaking it down for the audience and explaining why they think it has the potential to be genius or a Cat in the Hat-level disaster. Check it out after the jump.

Yes, Observe & Report is the second comedy about a mall security guard to come out this year (a fact Seth Rogen savagely mocked in his SNL monologue). However, if Paul Blart: Mall Cop was the Die Hard of mall security guard comedies (plotwise, at least), then Observe & Report is the Taxi Driver, and while I love me some Die Hard, O&R is infinitely more disturbing, and satisfying, and disturbingly satisfying. Depending on where your personal line is, this movie may not cross it, exactly, but it certainly walks up to the line and tasers you from a safe distance.

It's surprising how few Easter movies there are. Yes, there are religious movies like The Passion of the Christ and The Greatest Story Ever Told, and a slew of direct-to-DVD cartoons, most of which not even a toddler at the peak of a sugar rush would find entertaining. But for a holiday so closely associated with inherently marketable rabbits and candy, you'd think there'd be more to choose from. Never fear: If you dig a bit deeper into your basket of treats, you can find some surprisingly Easter-relevant themes and scenes in some seriously non-Easter movies. Let's look beyond the half-melted chocolate shell to the surprising nuggets of goodness at the center, shall we?

Frank Miller's The Spirit came out on DVD this week, and it was my first time seeing it. Despite being a lifelong Spirit fan and semi-regular Miller fan (I know, nobody cares about my life story), I had sworn not to go see the movie in the theaters after failing to recognize anything I loved about the original comics in any of the trailers, and felt vindicated as I heard the reports from my braver friends. The movie was a train wreck, they said, and I looked forward to giggling through it in the comfort of my home. Man, did I not know what I was getting myself into. The movie is such a bizarre, jumbled mess on so many levels that I had to sit down to figure out what was actually wrong with it, and if the wrongness could have somehow been singled out and repaired. It's obviously too late to repair anything, but if I could somehow go back in time and save something I should have loved from being god-awful, this is what I would fix...

It seems everyone, from high-ranking Hollywood executives to Joe car enthusiasts to hipster entertainment columnists, knew that Fast & Furious would do well in theaters this past weekend. After all, the only other new film was the indie comedy Adventureland, which isn't exactly Superbad, and the biggest threat from last weekend's holdovers was the kid-targeted Monsters vs. Aliens. But the film actually surpassed expectations, bringing in $72 million in the U.S. alone, giving it the biggest April opening of all time, plus another $30 mill from overseas. All of a sudden, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are moneymakers, and they're gonna be getting a lot of offers in the wake of this. If this smart-ass entertainment columnist may offer some suggestions, I've got a multi-part plan for success for each of them.

I am not an otaku. However, growing up watching Japanese animation and actually working at an anime magazine for a while has given me a strong appreciation for anime and manga, and I still try to keep up with what's going on in that world. So when I found out they were making a live-action adaptation of the popular anime Dragon Ball, which comes out this weekend, I paid close attention to what anime fans -- meaning my bitter, frequently drunk otaku friends -- were saying about this movie. Now that it's here, I figured I'd run down some of the biggest complaints from fans of the original cartoon and comics, just so non-fans can see why they should hate this movie so much. ...Although I'm sure the non-fans will have their own reasons to hate it.