1. Speed
Speed was one of the biggest action films of its day, with its tale of a city bus that can't go below 50 miles an hour or it'll explode. And yet Keanu Reeves turned in yet another wooden performance as the LAPD officer who goes for a ride-along. Put Statham in that role -- okay, so he'd have to be some sort of Interpol agent, tracking an IRA bomber -- and bam! Your movie has just been Stathamized. Add a scene where Statham runs so fast that he passes the bus, and you've got a blockbuster that may make people forget about Speed 2. (Whoops, we already did that.)

2. The Fugitive
Before Harrison Ford was a crotchety old archaeologist, he was a crotchety old doctor accused of a crime he didn't commit, forced to go on the run and find the one-armed man who killed his wife. Seriously, Ford practically limps through this otherwise awesome movie, and his daring leap off of the dam is some of the most fake-looking stuntwork we've ever seen. If The Fugitive was remade, Statham would totally take that leap himself -- it's only, what, 1,000 feet? Also, there would be at least nine car chases, and the killer would only be one-armed after Statham finds him, tears off his arm and beats him to death with it.

3. Memento
To try to explain the convoluted, non-linear plot of Memento would be a waste of everyone's time, but we'd like to see how Statham would deal with not having a long-term memory, but owning a Polaroid camera and a gun. We think he'd immediately use the camera to start a lucrative blackmailing business, then force his victims to follow him around in shifts, reminding him of what's going on. Also, he'd convince Carrie-Anne Moss that they had to have sex, or he would die. Also, Joe Pantoliano? Dead.

4. Crash
No, not the emotional ensemble piece about racism and violence in Los Angeles -- the 1996 David Cronenberg film about people who get sexually aroused by car crashes. Statham would play the James Spader role of a film producer who gets in a wreck, begins an affair with the other driver and is drawn into a subculture of auto-smasho-eroticism. The movie combines Statham's two greatest skills besides kicking ass, and has more dangerous driving and interstate intercourse than all of his films put together.

5. Big Trouble in Little China
Even Jason Statham couldn't improve on this movie, but we would pay cash money to see him try. Mainly, we want to see him attempt to channel the wacky self-importance of Kurt Russell as he delivers CB radio soliloquies and fights an undying James Hong on the streets of Chinatown. However, if you subscribe to the "Remake bad movies, not good ones" school of thought, replace this one with Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.

6. Smokey and the Bandit
Is America tired of watching Statham drive cars fast? Hell to the no. In fact, we think that if someone actually bet Statham he couldn't transport 400 cases of Coors beer from Texas to Georgia in 28 hours, he would totally take that bet. Even better, his 1970s turn in The Heist tells us that this could be a 1977 period piece, complete with classic Trans Am, rather than a modern-day update.

7. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
When his father is kidnapped, inventor Caractacus Potts and candy heiress Truly Scrumptious take their flying car to Vulgaria to rescue him. On the surface, this movie based on Ian Fleming's children's book is already halfway to being a Bond film -- we'd bring it the rest of the way by giving Statham the Dick Van Dyke role, giving Chitty twin gatling guns and giving Scrumptious a body that won't quit.

8. Lawrence of Arabia
Peter O'Toole was nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of the misfit British Army lieutenant who leads Bedouin tribesmen in a war against the Turks, but has Peter O'Toole ever fought two guys with fire axes? If the Bedouins will follow the delicate O'Toole, they'll follow Statham, especially if his camel has rotating license plates and he travels the desert in Armani suits.

9. Gandhi
While he's bald enough to fill the Ben Kingsley role, Statham would have to unlearn everything he's learned in order to portray the legendary non-violent protester... for the first few acts, at least. We're hoping that after the whole making-salt-by-hand thing doesn't work, and after the character spends some time in prison, Statham's Gandhi will bulk up a bit, crack some skulls and maybe finally get a little peace around this place, eh?

10. Citizen Kane
How do you Stathamize a movie about a newspaper magnate's life of excess? Two words: Sled chase.

What movies do you want to see Statham remake? Let us know below, then check out our gallery of Statham Facts!