BLOGS
It's almost here. Because you all were begging for it. The return of Renee Zellwegger in yet another sequel to 2001's Bridget Jones' Diary. Apparently, they're going to base the third installment on a series of columns author Helen Fielding wrote about Bridget trying to have a child in her 40s, and production will start later this year. Unfortunately, we're kind of over Ms. Jones at this point, after her last wacky and unnecessary adventure brought her antics to the edge of reasonableness. Sure, it'll probably make money, but it seems like that's really the only reason they're making it. (Well, that and actually giving Zellwegger something to do.) And it's not the first sequel that should never have existed. We won't go so far as to say that all sequels are a bad idea, but a good number of them are, and many of them involve Vin Diesel somehow. These are ten that we actively resent the existence of.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
The Blair Witch Project was what it was -- a film making experiment that turned into a worldwide phenomenon. It would have been shameless to try to make a second movie in the exact same found-footage style, but it was just plain stupid to make a cookie-cutter horror movie sequel, in which a new group of kids go to investigate the legend behind the found footage. Not only was it incredibly bad, with gratuitous nudity and a substandard plot, but it really had very little to do with the original, and only watered down its legacy.
Evan Almighty
We don't care how much money it made. We don't care how funny Steve Carell is. The bottom line is, making a sequel to the preachy Bruce Almighty, in which God comes back and gives a new Bible-related challenge to a minor character from the first movie, seems a little cheap, especially when that character is played by an actor who's since gotten infinitely more popular, and they need to change his career and invent a backstory in order to make the story work with him in it. And dressing Carell up like Noah? Hokey as Hell. Give him a different starring project, instead of hammering him into such a dubious "franchise."
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones stands tall among the great heroes of the screen, fighting Nazis and cultists in his three classic movies. Would we have liked more of them? Sure, but the time for that passed ten, maybe 15 years ago. So why, aside from money, did they need to make a fourth film, almost 20 years after the last installment, in which Indy is even older and more out-of-shape than he was back then? Not only did it totally ruin our memories of the virile adventurer, the sci-fi plot called into question all of his previous, entirely supernatural adventures. In other words, it made us question the existence of a God on several levels.
Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home
So they freed Willy, and then they realized they needed to free him again in order to have a sequel? If that's not a reason for whale entrapment, I don't know what is. I mean, haven't seen it, but it seems that Willy's new habitat is threatened by a flaming oil spill?! Why not go free another whale, like Shamu, or Jimmy, or Pete, and stop putting Willy in danger?
Highlander 2
The first Highlander is not a masterpiece, but its inventive fantasy premise -- a race of immortals are destined to kill each other until there's only one left -- and gorgeous visuals created many fans. So when making a sequel, the filmmakers decided that setting it in the future, revealing the immortals to be a race of aliens, and bringing back Sean Connery, who had a good, clean death in the first one. It basically left a bad taste in everyone's mouth, one that two more sequels, one TV series and a cartoon could not wash away.
S. Darko
Aside from giving Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass something to do, what was the point in making a sequel to one of the few perfect movies in the world? Donnie Darko ended where it began, like a snake (or a rabbit) eating its tail, and not a single person who saw it thought to themselves, "Hey, I wonder what's gonna happen to that little girl from Sparkle Motion when she grows up."
Son of the Mask
If you want to make a sequel to The Mask (a dubious desire already), and you can't get Jim Carrey again, do not make a sequel to The Mask. No one wants to see Jamie Kennedy taking care of a Mask baby.
The Chronicles of Riddick
This Vin Diesel franchise actually had potential, back when it was just Pitch Black, and Vin was a mysterious convict who had to help the survivors of a wreck get off an alien-infested planet. So why did the sequel find Riddick taking on an army of death-worshipping mass-murderers, with the help of a gossamer Judi Dench? They raised the stakes -- and the scope -- too far, too fast, and the franchise floundered.
Under Siege 2
If Under Siege was "Die Hard on a boat," then of course, Under Siege 2 had to be "Die Hard on a train." Aside from how preposterous the idea of avoiding detection while on a train may be, the idea that a doughy chef who knows martial arts has a second opportunity to defeat a team of terrorists threatening global instability is not only stupid, it's insulting. To me and Steven Seagal.
Ghostbusters 2
Let me preface this by saying that anything that involves the Ghostbusters is, within reason, unimpeachable. But it must be said that the second Ghostbusters, while not without its good points, is mostly disappointing. Peter MacNicol doing a funny accent, a cute baby for moms and grandmothers to look at, a dancing toaster oven, Annie Potts in a bad wig, Rick Moranis in a Ghostbusters uniform, guns that shoot slime... Sadly, the filmmakers took more from the Real Ghostbusters cartoon series than the original movie. Watchable, but not lovable.
Honorable Mention: The Godfather Part III
Godfather III is better off ignored when it comes to the acclaimed "Godfather trilogy." While the first and second films are widely regarded as masterpieces, nobody would miss the third if it was left out of the boxed sets, thanks to a poor performance by Sofia "What I really ought to do is direct" Coppola and a convoluted "Catching up with the Corleones" plot. The fact that it was written so the broke Francis Ford Coppola could score a paycheck -- even though he felt the story had been finished 15 years earlier in Part 2 -- did not help matters. If I were a man prone to puns, I would call it the "godfather" of unnecessary sequels. Wait -- I am prone to puns! "Godfather" it is!
What are your least favorite sequels? Rattle them off below.
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I liked Donnie Darko a lot but it wasn't perfect. With that said, the sequel looks like it blows huge chunks and is totally unnecessary.
WHY would anyone feel the need to make a sequel to Donnie Darko?! Utterly bizarre and totally unecessary of the Hollywood Goons to make this 'straight-to-DVD' movie! Why?! Samantha wasn't particularly memorable in the first movie. I see Elizabeth Berkeley & James Lafferty are in it. SUCH amazing casting choices as mediocrity seems to be the name of the game.
You're knocking Vigo the Carpathian? But on mountain of skulls, in a castle of pain, he sat on a throne of blood! And he gave kids a valid reason to fear art museums! And a haunted painting was totally original (and definitely not the subject of every 19th century French novel ever, no!).
I understand the sentiment about GB2, but you just can't say no to "Stay Puff Marshmallow Man".
You forgot "Speed 2".
After the box office returns I don't think anyone is going to have to worry about a "Watchmen 2" anytime soon.
What about Aliens 3+ and the Terminators 2 & 3? All horrible movies.
charles, the Stay Puft Man was part one, but, yeah, I liked Ghostbusters 2. A lot. Some of the earlier scenes, especially, are great.
I, personally, despised Hannibal, the sequel to Silence of the Lambs. Like the people in it, but can't stand the story - Clarice joins Dr. Lecter in his fun and games? eeewww.
Hey - Terminator 2 wasn't that bad - the rest... Oh man. Never Ending Story 2 - that was a waste of film right there my friends. Also I agree with the whole Godfather 3 thing. Sophia - I wanna sleep with my cousin... creepy
Highlander 2: There Should Be Only One.
X-Men 3: The Last Straw
Star Trek V: The Final Insult
National Treasure 2: Book of Grossly Inaccurate History and Geography (and Ancient Languages and Logic). "Willing suspension of disbelief is not enough, you must have a lobotomy before entering the theater."
GB2 just wasn't very funny. That said, it (sort of) work as a fantasy adventure movie. As for Under Seige 2 ("Dark Territory"), I like Eric Bogosian. So sue me.
I'm surprised TWOP is decrying a sequel to a testosterone flick starring a testosterone flick A-lister.
The original movie wasn't a masterpiece, it was a bro movie. It had car porn, regular porn, and one of the only American action stars of color headlining. It'll be a great sequel to a great movie, but both are said within the fishbowl of wanting to see things move fast and explode.
Spider-Man 3: This time it's for the paycheck.
Terminator 2 is waaaaaaaaaaay better then the first.
Lost Boys:The Tribe for the win.
I have to admit I liked Terminator 2 more than the first.
This list is missing the biggest sequel mess, the entire batch after Planet of the Apes! You've got Beneath, Escape, Conquest and Battle. Plus a TV series.
I didn't even know they were coming out with a sequel to Donnie Darko until now.
Just about all of the Disney films have had (direct to video) sequels.
The newer ones (Lion King, Aladdin, Pocahontas)I don't seem to mind all that much, but when they gave the classics (Cinderella, Jungle Book) sequels as well, I felt that Michael Eisner was just destroying my childhood.
And speaking of Cinderella, didn't the original end with "and they all lived happily ever after."????
Well then, why a sequel at all???
Sometimes I doubt Zach's commitment to Sparkle Motion.
(For me it's a tossup between Leprachaun 4: Leprechaun in Space, and Grease 2, just because.)
"Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" was the worst, most pointless sequel. That said, the remake of the "Poseidon Adventure" ("Poseidon") was pretty good.
I love Ghostbusters 2!!! What about My Girl 2? That one pretty much stank.
Classic nerdy hipster rage. I am sure the next articale will cover how much better Macs are compared to PCs?
When are movie sequels ever NECESSARY? It's all about WANT. Movie goers WANT to see more of the characters they love, and movie makers WANT to make more money.
How about my personal favorite bad sequel:
The Never Ending Story 2 (the logical conundrum)
Godfather III might have stood a chance if two things had happened. Obviously they needed someone besides Sophia Coppola. But secondly the original idea was the fallling out between Michael and Tom Hagen, but they couldn't reach a deal with Robert Duvall. That would have had potential.
How can you hate GhostBuster 2? Lady Liberty saves the day!
Vin Diesel does not count as an action star of color. He purposely is vague about his background, so it seems like he is all these things. In the movie, he plays an Italian guy, right?
I gotta agree on Darko. That movie was utterly amazing, and the soundtrack was just perfectly toned. But, weird casting choices for background characters in this new movie, come on. Look at the first one. Patrick Swayze, Noah Wylie, and Drew Barrymore.
We didn't need Pirates of the Caribbean 2 or 3. At all. Know what else we didn't need? The 3rd Spiderman movie. What's wrong with letting a story end, for crying out loud?
I have a high threshold for shite. I can usually tolerate most things but Garfield 2 just had me asking, Why?
Why did I ever think it would be a good idea to see that movie?
The New Karate Kid. Or the Next Karate Kid. Whatever it was called, where Hillary Swank plays resentful teenage girl rescued by Mr. Miyagi's wisdom. Come to think of it, Karate Kid III was totally unnecessary too.
"one of the only American action stars of color headlining"?
Give me 18 Men in Black sequels starring a Real Actor over anything with Vin Diesel please.
That said I agree with National Treasure 2 as one of the worst sequels. The first one was so awesome (for history/archive nerds such as myself), but thanks for bringing the franchise right up to par with the new Indiana Jones flick. Didn't even take 20 years.
I'm gonna have to add the 3 newest Star Wars movies, but do they count if they're technically "prequels"?
Are movies even necessary? Well, I suppose if the writers here want to remain employed, Hollywood needs to continue to produce films and sequels of films of questionable quality.
Batman Forever and especially Batman & Robin. However, although the B&R is terrible indeed, it's not often you get to see an old action star and present state Governor completely bald, painted metallic blue and making terrible puns every few minutes.
I can't believe this article and thread went on this long and no one's mentioned the second Star Wars trilogy. That is the epitome of making movies for the paycheck.
Much as I like Under Siege, Under Siege 2 trades Erika Eleniak for the young Katherine Heigl. Who wouldn't make that trade?
Are we all forgetting the fiascos before Christopher Nolan took over, ie Batman Forever, Batman and Robin???
It would be a shorter list of sequels that are worth watching. But the only one I can think of that would be close to 'necessary' would be Return of the King. It would've been so annoying to have the trilogy incomplete.
Any and all of the sequels to Bring it On. And the second Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. If the first one was unnecessary and bad (AatC) then number two can't help but be... number two.
Greese 2 - need I say more.
Poltergeist III. Don't play a drinking game based on how many times the actors say "Carol Anne", you'll be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning!
Donnie Darko = sooo over rated. WI ould rather gauge my eyes out then watch it again, or it's sequel
The Matrix II and especially, The Matrix III! I try hard to pretend they don't exist--I wish the first movie was the whole of the mythos!
Boy, there are a lot of terrible movies listed here! How about Spiderman 2? Giant plot holes, recycled dialogue, uninteresting effects, a chubby villain, and they even managed to make Kirsten Dunst look ugly.
Superman II and III and was there a IV?
And then a remake?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Spiderman 3- Emo Peter is enough to put that on the list
Grease 2- Sure it has Michelle Pfieffer, but the songs are much more awful and the plot much harder to believe. Really? Sandy's Cousin?!
As for Blair Witch 2, at least it had Jeffrey Donovan...
The Neverending Story 2 was actually the second part of the book. Now, The Neverending Story 3, THAT was ridiculous.
Any Alien 3 and the other one... they should have stopped at Aliens I liked that one better than the first. I second the stoppage for the sequels in the Bring It franchise...the first one was alright...the end. No more cheerleader movies.
The sad thing about "Godfather III" for me was that Al Pacino gave an amazing performance, as did Talia Shire, but the movie was so bad (George Hamilton succeeding Robert Duvall as family legal advisor? Seriously?) that both acting achievements went pretty much unsung.
The Return of the King wasn't strictly a "sequel" but the planned third installment of one long movie: The Lord of the Rings. The cartoon version of the movie in the 1970s, which covered the first part of the story, was particularly annoying in never coming out with subsequent parts. Yeah, Karate Kid III was totally unnecessary but wonderfully campy with the villians' overacting.
I loathe Matrix 3 (and by extension Matrix 2 because it meant I had to see that god awful third one). Honorable mentions: Speed 2, all the Land Before Time sequels, Pirates 3
[quote]Highlander 2:It basically left a bad taste in everyone's mouth, one that two more sequels, one TV series and a cartoon could not wash away.[/quote]
Correction; they had TWO TV series (Highlander:The Series and Highlander:The Raven), and I think THREE more sequels. Stop it!
ANY Highlander sequel was unnecessary. But what about the Jaws sequels? (including the giant squid movie that was made for tv?)
The only thing worse than watching "Godfather Part 3" is watching it with the commentary. Every time Sofia Coppola would come on screen Francis would go "Sofia" in that adoring father way and stop talking until she was offscreen. He obviously thinks she's a great acting talent. :)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Saw the first one as a kid and loved the live action movie. The next two: crappy and crappier.
What about Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer? I only saw because the first one was so bad, I thought there was no way they could make one that was worse.
I was so so wrong.
I know this was a mini-series, but my love of Gone With the Wind will not let me remain silent. Scarlett. The book was bad. The mini-series was worse and then I had to try and believe two people who were not Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable were Scarlett and Rhett. Yeah, that didn't work out so well.
The Fast and the Furious? Just drop all the cars off a 10 story building and be done with it.
hated Legally Blonde 2
Weekend At Bernie's II.
First one can still make me laugh no matter how many times I watch it. Didn't even find the sequel remotely funny when I saw it.
Anything after Blade II.
Robocop awesome. Sequels crap.
The worst sequel of all time= Caddyshack 2.
Stayin Alive, Critters 2-4, Ghoulies 2-4, The Mighty Ducks 3, Meet the Fockers, and The Evening Star were all terrible and pointless.