Disney Movies: We Totally Call the Next Ten Remakes

Disney's live-action movies have been enchanting generations of kids with their wild fantasies since the 1950s, and they've recently undergone something of a renaissance. From The Shaggy Dog and Race to Witch Mountain to next year's Tron 2 and Swiss Famiy Robinson, Disney has been slowly updating all of their classics one by one. Now Terminator: Salvation director McG is preparing to make a new 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, about the submarine terrorist Captain Nemo, and while the rumor that Race star Dwayne Johnson would star was recently shot down, we're curious to see who McG will cast (he's aiming for Will Smith). It's gotten us thinking about other classic Disney films that are due for a remake (or a sequel, a la Tron), so we came up with ten that we could see Disney dusting off.

Bedknobs & Broomsticks (1971)
Quick, before Angela Lansbury gets too old for a cameo -- give us a sequel to this romp about a correspondence-course witch who protects Britain from Nazis. Maybe the kingdom of cartoon animals invades our world, and only Lansbury's witchy granddaughter Emma Watson (Harry Potter) can stop them?

Old Yeller (1957)
Given the original film's ending, a sequel might not be the best idea, unless we want to create a profile in crippling depression. No, start over with a young Bobb'e J. Thompson (Role Models), and give him a lovable yellow dog who helps him become a man. Then shoot the mutt.

The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)
Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory) reminds us of a young Don Knotts, so team him up with a scruffy Ben McKenzie (Southland) as con men who team up with some lovable youngsters to steal a treasure in this do-over.

The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)
Here's our pitch: Billy Ray Cyrus gets fired from all of his jobs and travels to Oregon to become a lumberjack. Miley Cyrus dresses up like a hobo and hops trains cross-country to join him, accompanied by a ferocious wolf and a destitute, fedora-wearing Zac Efron. This feel-good remake could have single-handedly ended the Great Depression.

Pete's Dragon (1977)
A movie about a boy and his dragon? And it's not Reign of Fire? Where do we sign? We'd go the sequel route with this one, casting Jim Carrey as a grown-up Pete who has to deal with an older, fatter Elliott the Dragon in this CGI-heavy comedy. Maybe Elliott is diagnosed with adult-onset dragon diabetes?

Return to Oz (1985)
Nobody's ever tried a straight remake of The Wizard of Oz, so we won't try to make one of this classic Fairuza Balk downer. But why not return to Oz a third time and show what an adult Dorothy encounters when she visits the Emerald City? We'd cast Jennifer Connelly as Dorothy, and the lion from Chronicles of Narnia as his Cowardly cousin. Hey, what else is he doing?

Gus (1976)
George Clooney coached a football team in Leatherheads, and that movie didn't do so well. But did that team have a mule who could kick field goals? I'm fairly certain it didn't. Almost 99% sure. Sign Clooney up, then get whoever the hottest mule in Hollywood is at that given moment.

The Black Hole (1979)
This visually stunning sci-fi classic featured wacky robots doing battle with destructive dreadnoughts, just like a certain Pixar-animated movie did last year, so it seems ripe for a re-do. Get Jeremy Davies (Lost) to play the Anthony Perkins role, and have original cast members Robert Forster and Ernest Borgnine come back to voice evil robot S.T.A.R. and senile robot B.O.B., respectively.

Flight of the Navigator (1986)
Since the spaceship special effects in the original were already pretty cutting-edge, we say make a sequel where the ship's computer, Max (Paul Reubens), gets damaged again while traveling near Earth, and once again kidnaps David (now played by the more-or-less-grown-up Paul Rudd) to extract the coordinates of Phaeton from his brain again. Maybe David hitches a ride home with Max, and we get to see the planet Phaeton? Maybe Sarah Jessica Parker reprises her role as the nurse from the original? Maybe we're dreaming?

Candleshoe (1977)
Ubiquitous child actress Abigail Breslin would be perfect to play the role of a young con artist, sent to finagle the location of a hidden treasure out of the old lady who lives in her mansion with her multi-tasking butler and some orphans. Steve Coogan would make a great replacement for David Niven, and Since Jodie Foster played the young con artist in the original, it's only fair that she gets first crack at playing the dotty aristocrat in the remake! Tell her she can have a panic room, and she'll totally be in.

Condorman (1981)
Yes, we know this makes eleven, but Disney needs superheroes! Seriously, every other studio has a superhero except Disney, so maybe they should dust off this spy farce, in which a cartoonist does a favor for his CIA buddy and assumes the persona of his own comic-strip character, a wing-wearing birdbrain. It's the role Ed Helms (The Office) was born to play!

What Disney movie would you like to see remade? No fair saying Herbie: Fully Loaded.

28 Comments

May 6, 2009 7:23 PM
Anonymous
Reply

Pollyanna!

May 6, 2009 8:02 PM
Anonymous
Reply

What was the one with Haley Mills and she went to Greece? That one.

May 6, 2009 9:00 PM
Adrianetts
Reply

@ Anonymous 2 - That was the Moon Spinners, I think.

May 6, 2009 9:15 PM
Srah
Reply

I'd like a remake of B.R.A.T. Patrol with Sean Astin making a cameo as one of the kids parents.

May 6, 2009 9:17 PM
Tigs
Reply

There is actually a sequel to Old Yeller (Savage Sam 1963). It's probably not as well known since it lacks the multi generational traumatizing ending.

May 6, 2009 9:37 PM
wolfdreamer
Reply

There was a sequel to The Apple Dumpling gang as well. It was called the Apple Dumpling Gang rides again.

May 6, 2009 10:09 PM
Paul Martin
Reply

Yes! Flight of the Navigator! I'd love to see a remake. It's a brilliant movie anyway, but if it's in the spirit of the original, it'll be another great film.

May 6, 2009 11:26 PM
sefa
Reply

Journey of Natty Gann! I've wanted to go to Alaska since I first saw that movie as a kid. Just yesterday, I took the day off to visit another place on my list - Astoria, OR.

May 6, 2009 11:56 PM
Dedra
Reply

YES! I'm in the picket line with my sign for The Journey of Natty Gann all the way. Not only am I huge John Cusak fan, but this totally touched my heart when I was young. I was sucker for these Early Sat. Morning movies as they were when I was a kid. (ditch Billy Ray though)

Bedknobs... and Return to Oz are great picks. I think Return to Oz was underrated. Loved it! Also, I LOVED Journey of Natty Gann in case you missed that.

May 7, 2009 6:30 AM
Tabby
Reply

There already was a third, more modern Oz movie. And I don't care if I was the only one, dammit, I *loved* Tin Man.

May 7, 2009 7:59 AM
hellyeah
Reply

My five-year-old was extremely disappointed that the planet of the cats is never shown in "The Cat From Outer Space," and has been storyboarding the sequel. I just need to know where to send the script :)

May 7, 2009 9:11 AM
TURK182
Reply

THE COMPUTER WORE TENNIS SHOES

May 7, 2009 10:22 AM
Betty
Reply

I vote for Summer Magic with Hillary Duff as the snooty cousin and Dakota Fanning as the Haley Mills character.

To Srah - I can't believe someone else remembers B.R.A.T. Patrol! McGeorge!

May 7, 2009 10:54 AM
yoyo
Reply

NEWSIES

May 7, 2009 11:38 AM
shannon201
Reply

Ditto to anyone that said Newsies!

May 7, 2009 11:51 AM
You spin me right round
Reply

I thought I was the only one who still loves Moon Spinners! I wanted to go to Greece so badly as a little girl. And long before Say Anything, John Cusak stole my heart in Natty Gann.

May 7, 2009 12:52 PM
Paul Servo
Reply

There was a book sequel to OLD YELLER, so it could work (never read the book, but I remember seeing it at my school's library).

With the RETURN TO OZ sequel, as much as I love Jennifer Connelly, why not get Fairuza Balk again?

May 7, 2009 12:58 PM
Raeann
Reply
replied to comment from Srah

YES! I can't believe someone else remembers B.R.A.T. Patrol :D

May 7, 2009 10:10 PM
StarryDreamer
Reply

Turk182-- The "Computer Wore Tennis Shoes" was already remade (unfortunately?) with Kirk Cameron in the lead role at some point in the 90s.

May 8, 2009 1:08 AM
dellvt
Reply

I still love Condorman. I don't know why. It's cheesier than a pizza, but the gypsy van that had a sweet European sports car under the chassis? Greatest scene EVER!

Also, I'd give that Return, Return to Oz movie a shot. Hopefully the Wheelies and the electro-shock therapy sessions won't give me nightmares this time.

May 8, 2009 5:33 PM
Faye Bond
Reply

"Return to Oz" is a book, which involves Dorthy, only she is kidnapped, held hostage underground with Pirncess Ozma. I am not kidding! There are over twenty Oz books, so why Disney never made the others is beyond me.

May 12, 2009 4:34 PM
mastyrwerk
Reply

What about Not Quite Human? I'm sure Eddie Murphy or Steve Martin could milk that franchise for two or three sequals before burying that in the ground.

May 13, 2009 9:59 AM
Christy
Reply

The Boatniks or Blackbeards Ghost!

May 15, 2009 8:56 PM
RTMS
Reply

Hot Lead and Cold Feet, now that would be a great dramedy western. And let me hop a train for Journey of Natty Gan. I loved her cameo in the recent Witch Mountain remake.

May 16, 2009 11:14 PM
Anonymous
Reply
replied to comment from mastyrwerk

Not Quite Human, that's the one with Chip, right? And Alan Thicke played the dad? That was a good movie!

May 21, 2009 4:43 AM
casey
Reply

they did make a sequel to Not Quite Human it was called Still Not Quite Human and yes i thought it was AWESOME!!!!! but yes to journey of natty gann i've wanted a wolf ever since i saw that movie...

June 30, 2009 2:31 AM
foxglove
Reply

I hate you all for ever suggesting re-making The Journey of Natty Gann with Billy/Miley Cyrus and Zack Efron. If this hideous abomination gets made, I will never forgive you. I love the orignial movie so much!!

December 10, 2009 2:33 PM
Juanita Steffen
Reply

Epic! I found this on Yahoo poking around for something completely unrelated- now I'm going to have to go back and read through all the old material :) Good bye spare time this morning, but this was a really awesome find.

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