Jennifer Garner (Jenny Perotti)
She's the love of Connor's life, his childhood crush who he slept with and then ran away from. Mostly she is around to tell Connor he looks like a gay pirate, cries a lot, and occasionally calls him on his shitty player ways. But mostly it is the crying. She even cries while she tries to reassemble a demolished wedding cake. She can do so much better. I've seen it!

Michael Douglas (Uncle Wayne)
Douglas plays the sage uncle who drives a big boat of a car called the Stabbin' Wagon and takes his young nephew under his wing by taking him to a bar and advising him on the fine art of insulting and ignoring women in order to get laid. Basically he looks like Robert Evans with the slick backed hair doling out wisdom that Hef would approve of, like "the power in a relationship is about who cares less." And he's a ghost, trying to hit on ladies. Gross. A sampling of some of the crap he has to do? You see that picture? The rain? That's the tears that girls have shed over Connor the heartbreaker. He also hits Connor over the head with all the condoms he's ever used in his life.

Breckin Meyer (Paul)
He's the little brother of Connor who has to deal with the two biggest assholes on the planet -- his screechy wife-to-be and Connor. He gives a touching speech about how Connor was there for him when he was little and their parents died (which he wasn't really since two scenes later we see that Connor went to Vegas for two years with Uncle Wayne to learn the ways of the world). He also has the world's most boring wardrobe and dull dialogue. His stint on Heroes was better.

Robert Forster (Sgt. Volkom)
He's predictably playing the stern father of the bride who makes ridiculous seating arrangements involving military tactics with little green army men toys. He's another one who had better luck on Heroes, and that's hard to do.

Lacey Chabert (Sandra)
She's the bridezilla, who just runs around screaming, breaking down and being generally irritating. I wanted to punch her part of the way through the movie after her irrational freak out about her husband sleeping with a bridesmaid before they were even seriously dating. Isn't there a direct-to-DVD Mean Girls sequel she could do... or something?

Anne Archer (Vonda Volkom)
She's the mom-of-the-bride who gets hit on by Connor as he literally just reaches out and touches her boob. It isn't even funny in that Jane Seymour Wedding Crashers kind of way.

Emma Stone (Allison)
This normally funny gal is cast as the ghost of girlfriends past, and the teenager who devirginized Connor Mead. She's got bad '80s clothing and a huge red afro. Not a good plan to hide away her hotness.

Daniel Sunjata (Brad)
Speaking of hot, Daniel Sunjata plays the dreamy Brad, who is brought in by Sandra to be wedding sex for Jenny (their words, not mine). He's a doctor with lots of hidden talents, and he's supposed to take Jenny's mind off her unresolved feelings for Connor (which doesn't work), but I spent the whole movie hoping for them to get together.

Rachel Boston (Deena)
For the two people who watched The Ex-List, Deena's sort of like her character Daphne, except instead of being the horny bride-to-be, she's a horny bridesmaid with worse taste in men.

Camille Guaty (Donna)
Another horny bridesmaid. The one that slept with Paul a million years before. Between Cupid and this... poor girl.

Noureen DeWulf (Melanie)
I'm not familiar with much of her other works, but she's pretty much awesome here. She's the perturbed assistant, who also does double duty as the ghost of girlfriends present (since she's stuck dealing with them). I guess it isn't so bad to be the best thing about a crappy film... right?