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Angels and Demons opens this weekend, and boy, does it look... exactly the same as The Da Vinci Code, except this time Tom Hanks has a decent haircut. And when the defining characteristic of your lead character is his haircut, you may be in trouble. (In other words, don't expect to beat Star Trek, Tom.) We're kinda disappointed, because usually Hanks delivers memorable, distinctive performances, whether good (Philadelphia) or bad (Bosom Buddies). Putting aside his famously Oscar-winning performance and his first steady cross-dressing job, we thought we'd run down the five roles that make Hanks a saint in our eyes, and the five that make him the devil.
BEST
Capt. John Miller, Saving Private Ryan
This was not your ordinary war picture, and Miller was not your ordinary soldier. Hanks played him with a sly sense of humor, the appropriate amount of fear, and a quiet intelligence befitting his former life as a schoolteacher. And Hanks has that great barking-orders voice.
Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own
"There's no crying in baseball!" Hanks' delivery of that line alone would earn him our love, but his general drunken surliness in this movie -- mocking umpires, peeing in front of his all-woman team and throwing a glove at one of their kids -- makes him a classic character. Could he be any more disgusting? No, no he couldn't.
Joe Banks, Joe vs. the Volcano
Before you mock us for looooooving this movie, consider his sad-sack performance as a beaten-down cog in the sales department of a prosthesis factory. Blinking in rhythm with the flickering fluorescents, we buy that the hypochondriac would fall for a diagnosis as ludicrous as a "brain cloud." His farewell rant to Dan Hedaya is pure artistry, and we could watch him debate whether or not to throw his hat into the water for hours.
Woody, Toy Story
You may call it cheating to include a Pixar animated character, but Hanks' vocal inflections make Woody one of the most beloved characters in animation, despite the fact that he spends much of the first movie trying to get rid of Buzz Lightyear. It makes us actually want to see Hanks play a real-life cowboy.
Det. Scott Turner, Turner & Hooch
How does the human half of a man-dog duo make it onto this list? By imbuing what could have been another K9 with enough heart and soul to elevate it to a higher plane. It's not just a buddy-cop movie, it's a touching story of a man who finds and (SPOILER, we guess) loses his best friend. We're tearing up even as we remember Hanks breaking down in the vet's office at the end, and laughing as we remember Hanks spending one entire scene in little black underwear. That's one for the ladies...
WORST
Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
Hanks' other Oscar win, Forrest is essentially a one-note character, and Hanks hits that note repeatedly for over two hours. Yes, he's scared, yes, he's sad, yes, he's happy, but through it all he speaks in that same stilted dumb-guy drawl. Also, it inspired everyone (Cuba Gooding Jr., Sean Penn) to want to play a similar part, which is unforgiveable.
Joe Fox, You've Got Mail
First of all, Hanks is no Jimmy Stewart. But even if he was, we would never have cared for Jimmy in the role of an elitist bookstore chain heir (whose boat is slightly smaller than his father's and grandfather's boats) "stuck" in a relationship with an obviously annoying Parker Posey while slowly driving the adorable Meg Ryan's family bookstore out of business. Then, when he discovers that Ryan is the woman he's been talking to online, he proceeds to pretend it's not him, all the while giving her romantic advice. That's called a slimeball move, and it does not make you a catch.
Lawrence Bourne III, Volunteers
Volunteers is one of our guilty pleasures, and Hanks' wife Rita Wilson is lovely in it, but what is with Hanks' cartoonishly upper-crust accent in this movie? He's like a poorly developed Saturday Night Live character.
Professor G.H. Dorr, The Ladykillers
We're still trying to figure out what the Coen Brothers were thinking when they re-wrote and remade this Alec Guinness film. Hanks' casino-heist ringleader more closely resembles Colonel Sanders than Guinness' evil mastermind, and his Southern gentleman act wears thin after about 15 minutes.
Robbbie Wheeling, Mazes and Monsters
We know you were just starting out Tom, but seriously? You play a college student who gets sucked into the evil world of fantasy role-playing, and therefore lose your mind? We can only hope that your heart wasn't in this piece of Christian propaganda, which is why your performance as you wandered the streets of New York City in a medieval daze was so sleep-inducing.
Yeah, that's our list. What can we say? Big leaves us kinda "eh." What are your favorite (or least favorite) Tom Hanks roles?
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Wow, I can't believe Tom as Paul Edgecomb in The Green Mile didn't make this list. :)
The Man With One Red Shoe.
Nuff said.
I'm just wondering whether you're using the Royal "We", Mr. Oat.
OK, points for remembering Mazes and Monsters, but WTF?? No Splash? No Big? No Bachelor Party? No manic depressive comedian in that otherwise crappy movie with Sally Field? The whole Hanks-when-he-was-funny oeuvre is missing! No soup for you.
Great list, Zach! Though I do wish Paul Edgecomb in "The Green Mile" could've made it on here, be it one of Hanks' BEST or WORST roles.
Best role--producer of "Band of Brothers!" And "Bosom Buddies" had some charm, back in the day!
Um, SPLASH?!?!? Hello!
Thanks for including Hanks' role as Jimmy Dugan! Only someone as awesome as Tom Hanks can pull off calling an umpire "a penis with a little hat on". Gold!
I liked Hanks in "You've Got Mail." I don't care who knows it.
I have to agree with Surly Girl! Splash? Big? Where were they on this list?
I also have to note, I grew up watching Bosom Buddies and I still have a very difficult time taking Tom seriously.
The only thing I think I can agree upon is your take on Forrest Gump. I thought I was the only one out there that is still peeved that there are 2 more hours of my life I will never get back.
Were you heartless bastards totally unmoved by his work in Sleepless in Seattle? (But I totally agree about Hooch and League. Right on.) And can we forget his turn as the druncle on Family Ties? The man drank vanilla extract or something to get a buzz. That's a role.
Yep, yep, agreed with those who say Sleepless in Seattle. He's funny and sweet, and the way he mocks Rita Wilson's character by joking about her 'chick flick' and then saying he cried while watching 'The Dirty Dozen' (with bomb-dropping sound effects and mock tears) makes me laugh every single freaking time.
Splash... wow, I haven't watched that in years, but I remember loving him in that. I wonder if that performance holds up. I'd have to rewatch it.
And yay to Anonymous for reminding me of his Uncle Ned performance on Family Ties. Awesome.
P.S. Though I agree that I'd never like a guy who destroyed my business (a la Tom's character in You've Got Mail), I still liked that movie. What can I say, I must have been in a sappy mood when I first saw it. Besides, in real life I would probably never love his Jimmy Dugan character either, because he's essentially a drunken crabby jerk, but Tom sells the role. (Oh, how I love that movie League of Their Own. So good.)
Plus, if anyone could get you to forgive him for being an ass, it would probably be Tom Hanks. He's wonderful. :D
ITA with you re: League of Their Own and Joe vs. the Volcano. Splash is good, but Joe is BETTER.
"I have no response to that."
I always get weird looks when I say that Joe V. Volcano is a comedic masterpiece. There are some classic performances (yes, Meg Ryan is awesome) but Hanks is the emotional center and you totally believe that jumping into a volcano would be a positive career move. He is at his sad sack best. The way he always seems to find himself alone again. Awww! Your heart just breaks for the guy.
Here's a hint for enjoying JvsV...don't take it literally, it's an allegory people!
And yes, Forest Gump is one of the worst characters to ever be committed to film. Such range this guy has!
"Luggage is the central preoccupation of my life."
On the wretched list, make room for Nothing in Common, a movie which paired Hanks with Jackie Gleason -- and made both of them desperately unfunny as a father and son dealing with each other before Dad croaks.
Hope Tom gets out of his current similar trough of bad character choices before something that awful comes around again.
As for good, his record exec in That Thing You Do! was so much better than the movie -- the right combination of smiling insincerity and nut-cracking viciousness. The Wonders never had a chance, with that guy in charge of their contract.
Am I the only one sad that The 'Burbs didn't make the list? He was highlarious in that!
What about Apollo 13?? I thought he did a fantastic job for that one.
I LOVE The 'Burbs. Might just be my fave Tom Hanks performance. Also have a soft spot for That Thing You Do!
Another vote for Apollo 13. Awesome movie and I loved him in that.
No one has mentioned "Cast Away" yet . . . I haven't seen it in a few years, so I'm not sure Hanks' performance holds up as well as in some of the other roles that people have named, but that movie stands out in my mind as one of his better ones. Acting opposite a volleyball takes some skill.
My favorite part of Joe vs the Volcano is when the workers are forlornly marching into the "home of the rectal probe" and they manage to crush the lone flower that has managed to push up through the sidewalk. The whole first part of the movie is priceless if you have ever worked for a soul-sucking employer.
And I absolutely agree with "A League of Their Own" and "Toy Story".
But I would add "Philadelphia" to my favorites list.
Best Role for me will always be Josh Baskin in Big.
How can you not list "Man with One Red Shoe" as one of his best and "Castaway" as one of the worst? And "Davinci Code" sucked too.
Add me to the list of people underwhelmed by Forrest Gump!
However, in all fairness to Tom, he does play the same character in both the Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons...so you really can't expect his performance between the two movies to be that distinctive.
Also, I think Castaway should get a mention in there somewhere (under which heading I am unsure).
I think "Road to Perdition" needs to be on this list. One of my top three Tom Hanks movies.
One of the worse movies ever was "The Terminal", and guess who was the star in that?
I mean really, how many foreign men hanging around airport terminals get to sleep with stewardesses like Catherine Zeta-Jones?
Julia Roberts gave a pretty good summary of Hank's career. Here is the report of the occasion:
Roberts' rude tribute to pal Hanks
Julia Roberts paid a bizarre X-rated tribute to acting pal Tom Hanks at a New York gala in his honor on Monday night (27Apr09).
Hanks was the guest of honor at the Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute, attended by a star-studded audience of friends and former colleagues.
After entertainment, including a performance by Bruce Springsteen and his wife Patti Scialfa, Roberts, who appeared alongside Hanks in 2007 movie Charlie Wilson's War, stepped onstage to toast her pal with a hilarious, foul-mouthed rant.
After starting with the line, "OK, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," the Pretty Woman star noted, "Everybody f**king likes you", and then complimented Hanks' wife Rita Wilson's breasts, figure and perfect butt before giving a critique of some of the star's less acclaimed movies.
She joked, "Tom Hanks, what the f**k? Bosom buddies, people... (I'm a) big fan, big fan. I saw Turner and Hooch, The Money Pit... You in the airport with the accent (The Terminal) - it was a pass for me."
She then added, "I'm wearing the same fucking dress, tonight, as your publicist!"
But Roberts ended on a sincere note, telling Hanks and the audience, "I love you. You do something that two other people on the planet do... Tom can walk into any room and make you feel like you're in your living room, make you feel comfortable... make you feel like there's a reason you're on the planet. That's a true gift. That's not acting... it's heart and compassion."
Hello: The Moneypit??? (for best, obvs)
Criminal omissions -
Best: Money Pit, That Thing You Do
Worst: Castaway
No Sleepless in Seattle? What?
What about his role in Bachelor Party? Good or Bad?
Wasn't that his first movie?
How about Philadelphia?
As for Angels & Demons - that book actually was first before The DaVinci Code!
casst away...he was brillant in that film
Totally agree on Gump - HATED that movie, AND it took best picture oscar away from Shawshank! SO wrong!
"Very exciting... as a luggage problem! "
I love, love, love Joe vs. the Volcano. My family has watched this film at least 50 times - one Christmas alone we watched it almost non-stop for three days. I am so glad that over the years it has finally gotten the respect that it deserves.
John Patrick Shanley deserves huge kudos for this wonderful, Shakespearean-type comedy. A reporter once asked me, in a story about homestyle Catholicism, what was my favorite Catholic film, and I said "Joe vs. the Volcano, without a doubt." I once showed it on retreat.
Great musical score, also.
"BIG"? "CAST AWAY"? "THE DA VINCI CODE"? how could you leave these out, on either ond of the spectrum?!?
forrest gump was incredible. this list is sort of, kind of semi-ridiculous...sorry!
I also want to say Terminal for worst. It was like watching Mr. Beans holiday all over again.
I absolutely hated you've got mail. Oooh you're a complete bastard who's runing me out of business and then you lied about who you are even though you know I'm the owner of the shop you're putting out of business. Ok then. AAARGH. HATE HATE VOMIT
Again, you obviously can't include all of his movies on this list, but as far as memorable performances go, I'm surprised no one's listed Catch me if you can *or* the Terminal.
The only role I liked Hanks in (outside of the baseball movie) was a little-known PUNCH LINE, in which he played a sad-eyed comedian. Amazing comedy chops that I'd never seen from him in a regular movie. Worth renting if you can find it.
I never even made it through the first half hour of Forrest Gump. Anyone who could have sat through that whole thing deserves to have his Oscar more than he does.
Gosh, I never realised until looking at this list just how many films old Kip-I-mean-Buffy had done over the years.
The Burbs. Sitting slackjawed in front of the tv while Mister Rogers sings; uneasily eating the pretzel with sardine on it while Uncle Rubin and his wife sternly look on; finally losing his sh*t at Ducomen; sliding down the front steps in a daze after the explosion...Hanks was brilliant in that little sleeper of a movie.
He was also brill in Big.
I always thought I hated Tom Hanks. Not the person, but the roles he chose -- I agree with the comments about Forrest Gump, I don't know how people got through that movie; and Castaway was also laughably ridiculous. Not into romcoms so I never saw his Meg Ryan movies. And Philadelphia wasn't memorable for me, either way.
But I did notice a lot of movies from commenters that I liked -- The Money Pit, Bachelor Party, The Burbs, yeah, even the Man with One Red Shoe. Of course, I haven't seen these in decades, but I guess I was a fan of his comedies.
OMG the scene in The Money Pit where Tom Hanks and Shelly Long are filling up the bathtub with heated buckets of water, and promptly falls through the floor was GENIUS!!!! Just the way Hanks starts laughing like he's simultaniously laughing his ass off and going slowly insane anyone who gets the chance should watch that movie just for that scene. Best Ever
Bonfire of the Vanities anyone? A blazingly bit of miscasting.