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Movies Without Pity
I Want My DVD: Tuesday, June 16, 2009

TV lovers, there's a lot of TV coming out on DVD today, plus Tyler Perry's Friday the 13th, The Seventh Seal: Extended Killer Cut and the Criterion Collection edition of Madea Goes to Jail. Just kidding, although I would watch any and all of those movies. But first: the cartoon that inspired Michael Bay to have a robot pee on John Turturro.

Transformers: The Complete First Season
For everyone who thinks that Michael Bay's Bayformers is the greatest rendition of the Robots in Disguise, you've got another think coming. Call the original 1980s cartoon series goofy or childish if you like, but at least you can tell these Transformers apart from one another. (The red one is Optimus!) This 25th Anniversary collection also includes rare PSAs, none of which warn children against the dangers of Michael Bay, sadly.

Burn Notice: Season 2
The third season of Burn Notice started a couple of weeks ago, but the second season is only coming out on DVD today, which means if you missed last season, this season may not make a lot of sense. Or, since Michael is mostly doing the same ol' same ol', it makes perfect sense. Still, Season 2 was pretty damn good, and worth watching anyway. Tricia Helfer throughout!

Friday the 13th: Extended Killer Cut
I want to decry this Michael Bay-produced Fri-Bay the 13th remake, but it was actually pretty scary and awesome and it had Supernatural's Jared Padalecki in it, so I can't. If I was a bigger fan of the originals, maybe.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager: Season Two
Instead of Seasons," why not break this series up into "Trimesters"? "You won't believe this week's shocking trimester finale!" I think pregnancies would be a lot more exciting if they had cliffhangers. ...Actually, that's a bad idea. Never mind.

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail
Why is the widescreen edition of Madea Goes to Jail so much less popular than the fullscreen edition? We ask this question about a lot of films, but it seems like Madea could really benefit from some anamorphic widescreen.

Everwood: The Complete Second Season
Two questions: A) Why is the second season of this show only coming to DVD now? And B) How did the star of Dead Heat wind up starring in a long-running family show? It's like if Bruce Campbell took a role on a medical drama as a heart surgeon who cares too much. On second thought, I would watch that.

The Three Stooges Collection, Volume 6: 1949-1951
My excitement for even more classic Stooges on DVD is tempered by the fact that we are well into the Shemp years, and edge ever closer to the arrival of Joe Besser, who makes Shemp look like Curly. Fun Fact: The Shield's Vic Mackey once played Curly in a Stooges TV movie!

Saving Grace: Season 2
I'm a little hazy on this show. So, an angel is Holly Hunter's AA sponsor?

The Seventh Seal (Criterion Collection)
How could The Seventh Seal only now be coming to the Criterion Collection? Isn't this the movie upon which all film appreciation societies are based? I wonder if there's a special feature about Death's cameo in The Last Action Hero, where he was played by Gandalf... [UPDATE: Yeah, there's totally an older edition from 1999, which I couldn't find on Criterion's site, for some reason. It's the movie so nice they Criterioned it twice! The new one has a new transfer, a new afterword and new subtitles, correcting a mistake on the earlier edition where hero Antonius Block is constantly referred to as "Jimmy the Snitch." - Z]

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