Parker Lewis Can't Lose: The Complete First Season
Ah, Parker Lewis. You out-Ferris Buellered Ferris Bueller himself, which was a tricky proposition, considering you were going up against an official Bueller-based TV series. But even Ferris fans like myself couldn't save that show from decimation at the hands of your stellar cast, amazing guest stars and quirky comedy stylings. After all, who better than Corin Nemec? Hey, what's Mr. Nemec doing nowadays? What the--?! He's starring in Sea Beast, which also comes out today on DVD? Looks like fans of Mr. Nemec -- meaning me -- will have to pony up for a double purchase.

Two Lovers
Oh, Joaquin Phoenix, could you have picked a less boring-sounding movie to make your last acting project? Couldn't you have gone out in a blaze of glory, maybe by starring in the prequel to The Thing? Or possibly some kind of lumberjacking movie? You've already got the beard for it. No, instead we get a movie about a guy who falls in love with Gwyneth Paltrow, as well as another girl, and life is hard. Frankly, I'd rather watch you rap.

Eureka: Season 3.0
Season 4 is starts next week, so you'll probably want to remind yourself what happened last season. (SPOILER ALERT: It was science.) And if Eureka is just a little too ordinary for you, you can always pick up the last season of that show about a magical portal to a lost kingdom. Or something. Anyway, Stargate Atlantis: The Complete Fifth Season also comes out today.

Pedro
I had actually forgotten that they made a movie about Pedro, the HIV-positive cast member from the third season of The Real World, who shone a spotlight on the AIDS epidemic. Hey, remember when MTV educated people, rather than slowly dicing brain cells into tiny pieces?

12 Rounds
They say that when professional wrestler (and 12 Rounds star) John Cena met Jason Statham, Cena tore a phone book in half to impress him. Statham then hung both halves off of a rooftop until they gave him the information he wanted. They parted as friends.

Eastbound and Down: The Complete First Season
There's nothing I can say about washed-up ballplayer Kenny Powers that Kenny himself hasn't already said on his Twitter account. And there is nothing I can say about Entourage The Complete Fifth Season that cannot be summed up by Jeremy Piven's Twitter profile picture.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
Just... no. Someone needs to stop Kristin Kreuk from acting. And stop everyone else from making terrible movies based on video games. So, basically, stop all movies about video games. Has Dead or Alive taught us nothing?

The IT Crowd: The Complete Second Season
If I were a religious man, but instead of God I worshiped British TV series, Spaced, Black Books and The IT Crowd would be the Holy Trinity. The Young Ones would be the Devil, constantly trying to lure me into a life of sin and moral excess. On a related note, Secret Diary of a Call Girl: Season 2 also comes out today. Hallelujah.