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Movies Without Pity
I Want My DVD: Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Yes, I know new DVDs came out yesterday, but compiling all of the nominees for our annual Tubey awards and interviewing sexy Species star Natasha Henstridge took precedent for the day, so I'm just getting to this now. Too bad, because yesterday was a heck of a day to go DVD shopping. I suppose today can be, as well -- I doubt stores have sold out of Gran Torino.

Gran Torino
Never before has an old person growling "Get off my lawn!" sounded less laughable. It probably has something to do with the fact that it's Clint Eastwood saying it, and that he's carrying a rifle when he does. Clint tackles racism by being an ugly racist, and it pays off. Call it Dirty Harry IX: Ol' Dirty Bastard.

Nobel Son
Take indie film darlings Alan Rickman, Eliza Dushku and Bill Pullman, mix in established actors Mary Steenburgen, Ted Danson, Ernie Hudson and Danny DeVito and add current TV stars Bryan Greenberg (October Road) and Shawn Hatosy (Southland) and you've got this tale of the kidnapping of the son of a jerkish Nobel Prize winner. If a black comedy/drama about a dysfunctional family of scholars doesn't grab you, I'll just say that Eliza Dushku takes her clothes off in it and leave it at that.

Reaper: Season 2
Yes, the season ended two weeks ago, and it's already out on DVD. They filmed the episodes well in advance, apparently, and since there's no Season 3 to promote, they figured, "Why wait?" Meanwhile, The Cleaner: First Season waited until Season 2 premiered to hit stores, and The Shield: Season 7 - The Final Act waited seven months just out of respect. And fear of Vic Mackey.

Fear Me Not
In this Danish film from the Tribeca film festival, which is available on-demand starting today, a man agrees to be a guinea pig in a clinical drug trial, but when the trial is canceled, he continues taking the drugs, enjoying the sense of well-being they provide. Naturally, he turns into an aggressive, controlling, violent monster. It looks like a thrillier, less-funny version of Special. In Danish. (I'm sold!)

Z Rock
By day, they're a kids' party band. By night, they're an adult party band. It's like a hair-metal Flight of the Conchords, except these guys have two jobs, and the Conchords have none. Plus, the Conchords have never had Joan Rivers or Sebastian Bach as a guest star. Season 2 is airing on IFC now, so if you were waiting to watch all of the first season before dipping into the second... well, you're an idiot. This isn't Lost, people.

Shaun the Sheep: Sheep on the Loose
I had to look this one up, but apparently Aardman Animation is doing a TV series about Shaun, the little sheep from the Wallace and Gromit movie A Close Shave! I would be psyched, except there are 40 seven-minute episodes all told, and this DVD is 39 minutes long, which means that there are... maybe five episodes? This is the third one of these mini-collections they've released. Wake me when there's a Season 1 set.

The International
Whenever I see the title of this movie about Clive Owen fighting an evil bank, I think of "The Continental," which is the greasy European character Christopher Walken plays on Saturday Night Live. After I laugh about that for a bit, I picture Clive Owen running around, shooting at a giant building that says "BANK" on it, and lose interest.

Fired Up! (Unrated Version)
I like Bring It On!, which is about female cheerleaders, so I should like Fired Up!, which is about male cheerleaders, right? It must be good! Plus, this is the "unrated" version, which clearly means that it contains graphic sex and nudity beyond a 13-year-old's wildest imagination -- hopefully, none involving John Michael Higgins.

Strike
Hey, what's Tara Reid doing now? A bowling road trip movie with Robert Carradine? Good to know!

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