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10 Early Video Games That Would Make Better Movies Than Asteroids

Apparently, the problem with movies based on video games isn't that they're never given the script attention and directorial skill that they deserve. No, apparently, the video games are just too new. Old video games have more nostalgic appeal, so more people will go to see them, right? That must be the thinking behind this latest bit of news, that Lorenzo Di Bonaventura will be producing an Asteroids movie, based on the video game about a ship that sits in the middle of the screen and blows up big asteroids, forming smaller and smaller asteroids. Considering that there were two big, competing asteroid movies about a decade ago, and two competing TV-movies about it this year, was it really worth the four-studio bidding war? Hell, is the word "asteroids" even copyrighted? Since we can't imagine what the film will bring to the table that we haven't seen already, we've come up with a list of classic video games that we're much more interested to see on the big screen.

Frogger
In this age of cutesy, computer-animated animal movies, why has nobody snapped up the rights to make a movie about a curmudgeonly frog who just wants to get across the road to see his family? Sure, it's only few steps for you and me, but an epic journey for a frog, especially if we're talking about one of those multi-lane highway dealies. This sucker has "Pixar" written all over it.

Pac-Man
The name recognition alone would make this movie worth the attempt, but this baby would admittedly be a real bear to adapt to the real world -- we know there are ghosts in it, but what the hell is a Pac-Man? Cartoons have shown him simply as an anthropomorphic yellow ball (who wears a hat), but we can't see that translating well to the big screen. Well, not the hat, anyway.

Q*Bert
A lovable alien who likes hopping up and down pyramids? Why wasn't this the next E.T.? The furry, armless, projectile-nosed creature starred in a Saturday morning cartoon, where he lived in a town full of similar characters, but we think bringing him to the real world, where he's the cutest thing on two legs, would do gangbusters.

Pitfall
Granted, Pitfall was pretty much an Indiana Jones rip-off, with a guy in a fedora swinging over crocodiles on vines, but considering that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull nuked the fridge on the Jones franchise, it might be time for us to embrace a new swashbuckling adventurer. Pitfall Harry, anyone?

Space Invaders
No, not Spaced Invaders, the movie about short, bumbling aliens who invade a remote farming community -- this is the video game whose title inspired the pun, if not the film. We'd rather see a movie closer to the game's concept, about a mobile Earth defense force who drives a massive laser from location to location to repel an invading fleet of alien ships.

Donkey Kong
Just to put this in perspective, a documentary about two guys who are good at playing this video game was a moderate success. So how much money would a movie about a girl who's been kidnapped by a gorilla and the hero who needs to assault his barrel-strewn, multi-level warehouse to rescue her stand to make? A barrelful, perhaps?

Metroid
Who doesn't love a good story about space pirates? Especially space pirates who steal a bunch of life-draining organisms to use as weapons? Also, sexy Boba Fett-like bounty hunters who have to take them out? Think Empire Strikes Back meets Pitch Black. ...Empire Strikes Black?

Tetris
A less-than-literal translation might be in order for this highly addictive stacking game, unless you think there's a huge audience for Russian wall-building movies. Maybe two spunky kids embark on a Goonies-like adventure to collect the five different shapes of Tetris pieces that unlock a hidden Soviet treasure that will save their personal Goondocks?

Centipede
Ants, snakes, gorillas, sharks, crocodiles... every animal under the sun has been made enormous for the purposes of menacing humanity on the silver screen. So why not pit humans against an array of giant centipedes, as well as other insects, like fleas and scorpions? The sight of a massive, fast-moving centipede, weaving between giant mushrooms to devour a man 1/100th its size would scare even the stoutest of monster movie enthusiasts.

Super Mario Bros.
Yes, we know this game already had a movie, but God, it was awful. Whichever one of its three directors and three writers wants to take credit for it should be dropped into a river of lava for causing the casting of Dennis Hopper as a giant dinosaur warlord. It's practically a crime that a character as beloved as Mario Mario (and to a lesser extent, Luigi Mario) has been limited to the world of video games simply because its one foray into live-action was so horribly mishandled. Another attempt, heavy on the CGI environments, could kick off a lucrative franchise, with the second one focusing on Mario's street-racing career and the third focusing on his ghostbusting side business.

What classic video game would you like to see as a movie? Enter your high score below.

32 Comments

July 7, 2009 5:50 PM
Twilight Man
Reply

"Berserk" would make a good movie, if done right.

In the future, A young (good looking) man gets arrested and sent to a prison planet for a crime he did not commit. He spends the majority of the movie attempting to escape (with a hot looking babe) from evil robot guards. Near the climax, Evil Otto himself decides he's going to take the kid down himself.

Remember "Vanguard"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfzA6JhgWAc
That might make a good film as well.

July 7, 2009 6:00 PM
Gail
Reply

I can't remember the name, but it involved a Tarzan-like figure swinging from vine to vine without falling, swimming across a croc infested river while stabbing the crocs, and racing up a mountain while jumping boulders, to save the lady from the cannibals.

July 7, 2009 6:52 PM
kenzie
Reply

It's not quite as old as the above games, but Oregon Trail. My favorite game as a kid. And of course you have to have the family starve at some point, and no luck hunting, and at least one creatively named kid has to die from some disease. Cholera is a good one.

July 7, 2009 7:47 PM
peachysakura24
Reply

Dr. Mario or Mike Tyson's Punch-Out would be fun. They could always make Disney's Adventures in the Magic Kingdom. Zach Efron can run around trying to find silver keys to open the gates for the big parade!

July 7, 2009 9:12 PM
Veylon
Reply

A Zelda movie could be great. Or at least pretty good.

July 8, 2009 2:34 AM
Alan
Reply

I give you Pac Man the movie, and Tetris the movie, both on Youtube

July 8, 2009 8:10 AM
Ilan
Reply

Gail, you're thinking of PitfallQ Or its isometric cousin, Congo Bongo.

Myself, I could dig a Dig Dug game. Or Tapper!

July 8, 2009 10:45 AM
Aftran
Reply

Why there hasn't been a Monkey Island movie yet, I do not know. But I, for one, would like to see a live-action Guybrush Threepwood doing some insult sword-fighting and battling the Ghost Pirate LeChuck.

July 8, 2009 11:05 AM
Donna
Reply

Where in the world is Carmen SanDiego! Wonderful computer game in the old Apple II days, wonderful PBS game show, and a great concept for a movie. Maybe audiences would even learn some geography.

July 8, 2009 11:35 AM
Kate
Reply

Paperboy.

July 8, 2009 12:44 PM
Susanna
Reply

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego gets my vote, too. If anything, I'd love to see a remake of the TV series (game show or cartoon).

Oh, and on Pac-Man as a movie, I'd say it's worth checking out sketch comic Scott Gairdner's envisioning: http://scottgairdner.com/pac-man

July 8, 2009 2:45 PM
Fluteofdoom
Reply

There's a tetris, pac man and minesweeper on youtube, and they all look like actually interesting movies.

Carmen SanDiego would be awesome! I loved that show.

July 8, 2009 3:26 PM
nitish
Reply

ninja gaiden - the cut scenes between game play were already cinematic

July 8, 2009 5:19 PM
Maniac64
Reply

Contra and DigDug are the top two for me.

And for the person who mentioned a Zelda movie. Enjoy (no its not real).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBCzkz3gHb8

July 8, 2009 5:38 PM
Paul Servo
Reply

I wish Jon Woo was still doing the METROID movie

July 8, 2009 6:08 PM
Mike
Reply

Who is the hot chick featured in this article? (See link)

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/entertainment/NATLTop-Ten-Classic-Games-That-Should-be-Movies.html

July 8, 2009 7:53 PM
Anonymous
Reply

Leisure Suit Larry, Or maybe that one should be a reality show.

July 8, 2009 8:42 PM
maggy
Reply

Adventure (from Atari 2600) might be a decent rash movie. :)

July 9, 2009 2:42 AM
DG
Reply

Zelda, River City Ransom, Metroid are the top for me. Ninja Gaiden is a good call to. Those games have a strong driving story which you kinda need otherwise its gonna suck.

July 9, 2009 6:36 AM
Papi
Reply

Minesweeper? (on the basis of this trailer, I think I actually would go see that movie) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs

July 9, 2009 7:34 AM
Ben
Reply

*low voice*
I liked the Super Mario Bros movie, I wish it was on now so I could watch it.

July 9, 2009 12:00 PM
Oriole906
Reply

Elevator Action was my favorite - spies, shooting out lights - this could work

July 9, 2009 2:24 PM
Psychofarm
Reply

Gail:

You're thinking of Jungle Hunt.

July 9, 2009 3:36 PM
Nikademus
Reply

Before it was Jungle Hunt, it was called Jungle King. The Tarzan guy had to get changed to a pith-helmeted explorer to avoid a lawsuit.

July 9, 2009 6:44 PM
Ronathan
Reply

I would love seeing a Double Dragon movie. That game was awesome!

I also second the Metroid and Ninja Gaiden movies. Zelda could be great as long as they make Princess Zelda more interesting than simply being a girl waiting to be rescued, otherwise, yawn. If it's only about Link slashing monsters it'll be too similar to Lord of the Rings.

July 9, 2009 6:45 PM
Ronathan
Reply

I would love seeing a Double Dragon movie. That game was awesome!

I also second the Metroid and Ninja Gaiden movies. Zelda could be great as long as they make Princess Zelda more interesting than simply being a girl waiting to be rescued, otherwise, yawn. If it's only about Link slashing monsters it'll be too similar to Lord of the Rings.

July 9, 2009 6:48 PM
chi latte
Reply

Zelda OOT gets my vote although Wind Waker would probably work quite well as a movie.

No clue how it would work but Pong deserves a movie too.

July 9, 2009 10:09 PM
Fletch
Reply

Nobody has mentioned "Defender"!?

Cool alien ships are kidnapping humans- and if they reach space, the humans are turned into mutant aliens. You can shoot the alien, but the human will die in a 'free-fall' crash to Earth if you don't catch him!

Hyperspace! 180 degree turns that violate all known laws of inertia! Bombs so powerful that they destroy everything in sight- except you!

Sounds like a "blockbuster" SyFy movie to me...

July 9, 2009 11:26 PM
MarkW
Reply

Jumpman - The Motion Picture!
After Commodore outsold all other gaming platforms of it's time.

July 10, 2009 3:33 AM
Zelmia
Reply

Oh yes! I like the idea of Oregon Trail! I don't think I ever made it all the way in that game.

What about "Chopper Patrol" or whatever it was called, where you had to rescue the little guys before they got "blowed up"? Or maybe that was already the basis for "Blackhawk Down" ;)

There was also "Chopper Command" where you had to protect the convoy. That could be a good one.

Or "Combat"? Could be a sort of "Enemy Mine" only with tanks.

Who can forget the fabulous "Joust" which could be a sort of "Knight's Tale" but with ostriches?

And my all-time favourite "Gauntlet", the plot and design for which kind of speaks for itself. I just wonder who they will get to intone "Wizard needs food badly!" or "Valkyrie... is about to die!"

July 10, 2009 8:09 AM
TVKimmy
Reply

Ben said.....
*low voice*
I liked the Super Mario Bros movie, I wish it was on now so I could watch it.

...*whispers to Ben*....I liked it too, but to be fair, I like a lot of bad movies. lol

July 12, 2009 10:26 PM
Lilu
Reply

..I can't believe noone has suggested a Worms movie. What about a Kirby movie? ..Or is that a little too new-gen?

*low voice to Kimmy and Ben* You guys too? I love the Super Mario Bros movie. I just ignore that it's supposed to be about the game in any aspect.

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